Sunday, December 29, 2013

Sleep don't come easy

I got to love it. I fall asleep and 20 minutes later have to take a piddle. Then I try to sleep more. Not going to happen. The Pain level is up and the brain is active as well. I find it strange that when the Fibro flairs (they can last days) are bad not not over the top bad, my brain starts to want to do things. Any things. Sort the laundry, do the dishes, type this blog, take photos of everything I can think of, do some digital painting or 3D art. The list goes on and on. The thing is you really can hear everything in this building that the folks next door are doing. So I can't hardly start to do dishes or what not. There are limits.

Then again. I have had problems sleeping since I was 10. This is when it all went wrong you see. My brain changes some how. Maybe it was from the 2 or 3 good bangs to the head I got. Maybe it's genetic. In any event, the voices where uncommon then - just my name here and there when I was alone. But the depression and the manic times hit big time when I was in my teens. Then there was no sleeping for days on end. Just naps here and there more like.

Today the voices never stop, so there is no quiet time for me. They only time I don't really hear them is when I am deeply into doing something with my brain. Like when I am typing or doing a vlog or some art. Thank God the manic times are all but past and the depression is all but gone. Sure on Christmas day I was down and feeling sorry for myself and so on, but not full out curl up in a ball depressed. The I want to build a fence at 3am feeling does not hit me at all now. Instead I get up a little and my brain is active. I don't have the physical rush that I used to get.

Now on for the adult part. Sexual urges... Well to say the least they went away for about 3 years for the most part. Then I decided that God would like me to stop boffing random people from the interwebs. So I have not had sexual contact with anyone at all in 4 years. Only thing is my sex drive went threw the roof. What does this have to do with sleep? It gets worse when I am tired. Just ass backward from everyone else. Do I need to mention that when I do the task myself (hint hint) the "O" is massive. In the day I could "O" for 3 to 5 min - no shit, no lie. It did not spurt the entire time, but the rest of it happened. Now it's contained to about 40 to 75 seconds. But the sensation (full body) is out of this world. I am talking the most intense thing I have ever experienced this includes the time I tried coke (not the drink - won't never do that again). Then the brain goes off. I see flashes of light and patterns of color. I hear music and smell bacon (no kidding here most of the time it's bacon).

You would think after that, sleep would come easy. Well it did when I was 30 or less. Now I am even more awake after all the zooming threw hyperspace. Oh well. At least I can sort my photos and so on... Maybe I will backup my videos and photos that I have not burned to DVD yet.

That reminds me - this Western Digital 2 TB USB 3 drive ROCKS. I installed the apps with it and it backs up all the files in all the folders I marked to back up - every time there is a change. If I add them, it adds them. If I remove them, it removes them. And did I mention that it took less than 13 min to dump 62GB onto the thing? Oh hell yes...

Anyways time to burn some backups - HA it's 4:20 am - And yes I was thinking of a YT friend who is setting up her home grow setup... I hope it works well for her... Oh and she has a permit to do it - so no worries...

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