Friday, September 2, 2016

Taking A Nap Might Kill You.

Life is strange with a heart problem. You start to feel bad, so you lay down to take a nap but can't sleep because you think this might be then end, then you wake up after dozzing off and thing "OMG am I dead" - but you realise your at home so this can't be the afterlife, because in heaven you will have better stuff and your family will be there. Them you sit up too fast and you dizzy and fall off the bed and thing "Shit if I can't get up, my phone is on the desk in the other room and I can't call 911". But then you do get up and you thing "wow I made it threw another bad moment, 90,000,000 more to go". Then you think "well maybe next time I will drop dead". Then you start thinking, what if I am shopping and have a heart attack and pass out and piss and shit all over myself and don't die - that would be so embarrassing. Then you remember you Mom saying "put on clean undies in case you have to go to the hospital (she really did)" and you go to put on clean shorts but your out of them. Then you start to think that fluttering feeling in your chest is a heart problem when in reality, all this thinking has sparked a panic attack. Now you wonder why the hell your doctor won't give you Xanex or something. Then you think "is my doctor trying to kill me" and the anxiety gets worse, now you are looking for your wallet and your phone, because you want to go to the hospital. Then you get there and they make you wait 20 min to get into the ER and you think "they are all trying to kill me" - so you finally get in and tell the doctor you think he wants to kill you and it's a government conspiracy. So, now you are on the mental ward and at least they are giving you drugs to make you not think you are dying any more. Then you think "what if I am dead and this is some kind of test by God"? So now you are worried again and they give you another hit of what ever that nice white pill was and you kind of pass out and they think you are having a cardiac event so it's back to the ER. And then you remember "FUCK I FORGOT TO FEED THE CAT" - then you realise it's been 4 days and you tell them to call your friend and he is not home and your are freaking out and actually do have a heart attack and all because you wanted to take a fucking nap. So I think I will put the coffee on and never sleep again!

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