Thursday, February 8, 2018

LOOKING BACK ON FAMILY AND FRIENDS


Was 17 in this photo with my Mom. For some reason I kept growing till about 25 years old instead of stopping at 18 like normal so I got a but taller. Mom on the other hand over the decades that followed shrank.

She was literally down to my nipple line by the time she passed away. I had no idea that someone could lose that much height. I do know that bones can shrink with age but DANG.

Then again she was only 78 lbs in the end and it was terrible to see.

I miss that dog, he was the last one we ever had. He lived to be 21 years old and we had to put him down as he had cancer. It was the 2nd hardest thing I had ever had to do.

That house had so many memories for me. I was 8 when we moved in and in my 20's when I moved out. It was "that house" - you know the one where all the kids hung out. More than often it was in my back yard instead of someone else's.

Then again we where free range kids then and roamed for miles on our bikes or by foot and spent sometimes 8 hours away from home. Sure Mom would be mad we missed lunch, but she got over it.

We where also that house that when a friend had nothing to eat he would eat our food. We gave way more than we took and we never asked to be praised for it. In fact we never talked about it.

Dad gave away a good portion of his money to charity every month - not a lot to some standards but for us it was a noticeable. We had less than other kids of cops. He never once told any of his co-workers he was doing it and I never found out until after he was dead.

Then there was my brother, a person only out for himself in a house filled with people who lived to help others. This lead to him manipulating Mom into co-signing a loan and ended up with her deeply in debt and having to sell her home and having nothing in the bank to show for her years of saving.

My brother on the other hand left for Alberta and we did not see or hear from him for many years after that. He never did say he was sorry to mom and remained arrogant to the time he was locked up against his will and declared incompetent.

Mom forgave him and even (sigh) sent money now and then. Hell I paid out of what little I had for a bus ticket for him once. When he did visit, he just drank a great deal and consumed narcotic pain meds at the same time. No wonder he ended up in a home.

When Mom was laying in a care home slowly rotting away, only twice in all the time she was there did anyone but me visit her. The relatives we have are not worth a darn it seems. After she did a hand full of them bothered to come see her off and I have not heard form any of them since - not once.

We where always (and I continue to be) the ones who gave and helped and where kind. In the end all it got us was passed off and abandoned by so called family. When I die, it will be my friends who give a dang about it and the family won't even care.

I have no regrets for giving a lifetime of my time and money that sometimes I had very little of to others. I would NOT do anything different. I was there for my Mother in the end every day, not one other person was. In the end it will be friends there for me as they have been so many times.

We lean on each other and we give when we can and hug when we can't. They are my family now not the people I am related to. They hold me and I hold them up.

I miss the old days and I miss the good times when I had money but even with  the little I have I think (actually I'm sure) I enjoy life more than a lot of people that have a lot more than me.

I am blessed and I am grateful for everything and for the people who raised me to be the man I am. Hugs and Love people.

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