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Showing posts from October, 2018

HALLOWEEN PIZZA

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So after ordering a treat for Halloween and all other expenses (including setting $60 aside for my birthday party) I'll have about $80 for the rest of the month. So not much fun to be had this month. Still last month I had a LOT of unexpected expenses and ordered a hell of a lot of cool things I wanted. So being last month was a lot of fun, it's all good. I have everything I will need and a little left over in case I need something else. For my birthday I'll be eating out then getting a bottle of whiskey for that night (won't drink it all). Life is very good to me. I am grateful for every moment of it.

HALLOWEEN DAY MOVIES

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WHAT'S ON MY NETFLIX

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10 B HORROR FILMS IN 2 DAYS

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1. Slugs (1988)
A health inspector and two helpers hunt mutant killer slugs that call the sewer home
7/10

2. Martin (1977)
Young Martin is entirely convinced that he is an 84-year-old blood-sucking vampire.
8/10

3. Midnight (1982)
A Pittsburgh policeman's runaway daughter is seized by satanists and scheduled for sacrifice.
6/10

4. Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1986)
A young woman is caught worshipping Satan by her mother in their remote motel, who kills her. Believing the ghost of her daughter is instructing her, the killer mother then decides to try to kill everyone who is staying at the motel that night.
6/10

5. Don't Go in the House (1980)
After the death of his abusive mother, a deranged man starts to lure women back to his house to burn them alive.
5/10

6. Deranged (1974)
Based on the case of Ed Gein, an unhinged farmer who turned into a murderous grave robber. Obsessed with the remains of his domineering mother, the man kills and collects bodies in order to keep her company in the house t…

VLOGMAS 2018 TOPIC LIST

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1. What is your ideal Advent Calendar?
2. How is the weather? Is it typical of this time of year?
3. Do you now, or have you ever, owned Christmas Stockings? Bonus to show them.
4. Show your Christmas decorations.
5. Wish List – what are you hoping to get for Christmas?
6. If you can make your own Christmas wrap. If you can’t describe what you would do if you could.
7. If you craft, show crafts you will give as gifts. If not, what did you make your parents as a kid in school?
8. For women, Christmas nail art. For men, Christmas tie. If you don’t do either, describe an outfit you had to wear as a kid for Christmas.
9. Favorite thing about winter?
10. Talk about a family tradition on Christmas.
11. Make a Christmas card. If you can’t tell about one you made as a child in school.
12. Secret Santa gift guide. Name 3 things you can give at a gift exchange that are less than or equal to $10.
13. What is your favorite Christmas drink? Bonus for hot, cold and alcoholic.
14. Talk about a good and bad Chris…

Pusheen Therapy

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It's strange how a think like a small stuffed toy can help with pain, but she does. Just laying there in the dark holding onto my Pusheen makes the pain impact me less. It does not however ease the pain, just makes me ignore it a little.
She is also good for anxiety. Just sit there holding her and listen to music with my headphones on and the anxiety eases up - it will make it go away a hell of a lot faster than with no Pusheen.

WEIGHT LOSS

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Well I did it again. I eat a pile of junk food and still managed to lost 1 lb. So I got lucky.

BEFORE I GO TO BED EARLY PLAYLIST

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The Sound of Silence – Disturbed Zombie – Bad Wolves A Reason to Fight – Disturbed Nothing Else Matters – Metallica Hurt – Johnny Cash Land of Confusion – Disturbed The Vengeful One – Disturbed In Hell I’ll Be in Good Company – the Dead South Take Me Home, Country roads – John Denver Wrong Side of Heaven – Five Finger Death Punch The Light – Disturbed Simple Man (Acoustic) – Shinedown House of the Rising Sun – Fine Finger Death Punch Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot Behind Blue Eyes – Limp Bizkit Bad Company – Five Finger Death Punch In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins Down with the Sickness – disturbed Gone Away – Five Finger Death Punch Black Betty – Ram Jam Jekyll and Hyde – Five Finger Death Punch Indestructible – Disturbed Sail – AWOLNATION Rx (Medicate) – Theory of a Deadman Shipping up to Boston – Goddesses of Bagpipes Enter Sandman – Goddesses of Bagpipes


WELL TIME TO GO INTO WITHDRAWALS I GUESS

This is what might happen after my not very good doctor fails to realize that going off antidepressants cold turkey is actually dangerous (I run out in 3 days):
Wellbutrin Withdrawal Symptoms
Anger (Rage) Anxiety Body Aches Crying Spells Depersonalization (not feeling you are still you) Depression Dizziness Fatigue Headaches Increased Appetite Insomnia Irritability Lack of Coordination Libido Changes (Lack of desire or hypersexuality) Nausea Seizures Vomiting Rapid Weight Gain (Reduced metabolic response)
These effects can last up to 8 weeks. The depression is usually rated as severe during this time. That in its self is a risk as there is also a large number of people who just up and stop that become implosive as well. Being clinically depressed and implosive at the same time can lead to self harm or suicide.
Strange thing is, some people experience literally no side effects of coming off the drug in this manner.
Being there is a good possibility that no clinic doctor will just up and give me psych meds t…

WELL THIS MIGHT JUST SUCK REALLY BAD LIKE

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Well I'm about to run out of my antidepressant and I'm not liking the idea. See this happened to me years ago for literally the same reason - the pharmacist could not get any in.
For the life of me I can't remember what the last stuff I was on was called, but holly crap on a stick did it suck for some time. I mean I thought I was literally going to fecking die.
Seems this stuff sucks to come off of, but won't be that "please God just let me die" kind of withdrawal. It's still going to suck though from what I was reading.
Seems my doctor did not get back to the pharmacy on this either. I'm hoping he will do this tomorrow and get me on something else. I run out of this stuff in 4 days - so kind of want him to rush it.
I've had depression and anxiety most of my life. It started when I was 10 and it's rather hellish bad if I'm not medicated. I've been off several times in the past and every time it was the same - I crashed like a stone falling…

WAITING TO SEE IF THE FLU SHOT KILLS ME PLAYLIST

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Copperhead Road – Steve Earle
Fortunate Son – CCR
Big Iron – Marty Robbins
Free Bird – Lynyrd Skynyrd
In Hell I’ll Be in Good Company – The Dead South
House of The Rising Sun – The Animals
A Country Boy Can Survive – Hank Williams, Jr.
One Bourbon, One Scotch, on Beer – George Thorogood
Take Me Home, Country Road – john Denver
Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd
The Sound of Silence – Disturbed
We’re Not Gonna Take It – Twisted Sister
The Devil Went Down to Georgia – The Charlie Daniels Band
Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot
Black Dog – Led Zeppelin
Dragula – Rob Zombie
God’s Gonna Cut You Down – Johnny Cash
Sympathy for The Devil – The Rolling Stones
Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd
Rockstar – Nickelback
Holy Diver – Dio
La Grange – ZZ Top
Cat’s in The Cradle – Harry Chapin
Stuck in The Middle with You – Stealers Wheel
Rooster – Alice in Chains


PANSEXUAL, NOT ALL OF WHO I AM

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I'm not one to wave the pride flag really, but it's part of who I am and I love who I am.
I am Pansexual, but it's not actually all of who I am. In fact it's just a small part. Yes I realize some people their sexuality is almost all of who they are, but not me.
I have in the past been part of an organization that tried to help others of the LGBTQ+ rainbow, but it degenerated into a coffee club for the most part. The young folk took up the mantle and are now the ones to go to in town.
But for me most of who I am is how I interact with people and my art. Yes I'm just a hobby artist, but I love doing it and I feel the need to keep doing it. That is my true identity.
I'm an artist, a friend, a poet (kind of), a helping hand, a good listener, a kind person and lastly Pansexual. But I do understand why for some it's almost all of who they are. There is a need to educate and be there for each other - for them, that is who they are.

THE REWARDS OF MAKING OTHERS SMILE

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I have to say the many years ago that I stopped wanting to be someone or look impressive to others changed the world for me.
Now all I really care about is making others smile now and then and listening to what they need to say when they need to talk. It's the most important part of my life right now.
For a time the most important thing was taking care of Mom while she was sick. Then after her death it was back to the people I care about and helping them smile. I don't often get people saying "you helped me today", but now and then someone will. This is a reward that is worth more than anything in my life.
All I ask for in return is for people to do the same and for the most part with my friends (in town and online) do just that for me. I get a lot of help when I need it from friends and they make my life worth the pain I deal with.
I have to say that with Facebook and Messenger I keep happy as most of the time I'm inside alone with nothing else to do but watch TV or…

OCT 21, 2018 IN PHOTOS

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DIGITAL PAINTINGS

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OUTLOOK 365 MAKE PHOTOS DOWNLOAD IN ALL EMAILS

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~ Click "File/ Options/ Trust Center/ Trust Center Settings"

~ Uncheck “Don’t download pictures automatically in standard HTML email messages or RSS items”

~ Chick “OK” then click “OK”



Weight Loss Update

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I'm a day ahead of the normal time to weigh in, but I had an oink of junk food today. I did well I have to say. This bean diet works well when I stick to it as I've said many times. I seem to be keeping healthy as well.
I'm down to 335.0 lbs right now. This is good. It's the least I've been in like 20 years, so I'm happy with it. total lost in the 3 years (about) I've been doing this is 163 lbs. Lost in the 30 weeks of this term (year) 22.8 lbs. 10 Weeks I went up and 20 weeks I went down.

SAMSUNG ANNOYED THE HELL OUT OF MY LAST NIGHT

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This was not only annoying as hell, but strange as hell as well. So my Samsung Galaxy S7 kept sending me alerts that the Legal Information had changed and I needed to check some boxes. Sigh. Well I checked them and it did not help.
It kept sending me the same dang thing over and over again. After the 10th time I got it I posted the vlog to the left. Well as it was processing BOING - on came another notification wanting me to click boxes again. NOTHING was making this go away.
I googled it and found out that it had happened in the past several times. The fix was baffling to say the least... You had to log into the Samsung web site and change your password. Well it freaking worked. I got not one clue how, but it did. After 14 notifications it stopped. Go figure.
On a side note, it turned ON the marketing crap I went out of my way not to accept. I turned it off on my profile on their page. Turns out they did this several times before as well.

FAN GATE AKA YOU HEAR MY FAN AT NIGHT?

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Ya know this is a very old building, it went up in the early 1970's. In that day they did not seem to worry about sound insulation. So all these old buildings you have to put up with the people next door watching TV or talking on the phone as you can hear them. To be honest, you can only just hear them though.
I was just told a few hours ago by a person that the lady living next to me has been complaining that she can hear me snoring at night and (get this one) my fan running.
Yes I sleep with a fan on, I have since I was little and it helps me sleep. Trust me it's almost impossible to sleep with no fan on for me.
Here is the kicker, her bed squeaks and ever time she turns over I hear it. Don't think any time soon I'll be complaining to people that it's keeping me up at night LOL. She also has this loose headboard that taps against the wall when she rolls over or gets in and out of bed.
You know what I think about hearing that stuff and her rather loud TV? I don't …

BEAN MIX MAKE UP FOR THE NEXT 6 DAYS

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So this is the mixed beans (5 kinds). I did up 6 days worth of bean mix this time in the fridge. The rest is lentil - I got a lot of that as there was not much else on the shelf. Next trip in to the store I'm getting it by the case. I'll stop in at the managers office or ask someone to help me. This way it will take less effort and time for both myself and the person at the till. I also need more small containers. 2 packs should do it (I think).

RUDE STRESS TOY

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There are several suppliers of this toy in Canada and the USA but they want 4X what I paid for it. It is supposed to be a little buy who looks like a dick. It's squishy and soft and a fun stress toy. I paid like $3 for it, but it took over 2 months to get here. Seems shipments from China are not even close to what Amazon says they will be - they need to adjust that. But it is a very funny toy and I like it a lot. It will give me a lot more than $3 of joy.

8.5g of Reaper Pepper Chili Powder

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Honestly for how much of this you need in a chili, this would last me 5 years of every day use. It is however, not for me - it's for a friend of a friend.
I picked this up for $10 on eBay and that was the SHIPPED price from the USA. It's very reasonable. The pods I got last year for the same price where from the land down under and make like 1/60th of the powder that is in this bag.
The same seller has a 3 pack of Reaper, Scorpion and Ghost. I may actually get that one of these days, but not this month for sure. It seems your best bet for extreme spice is from the small market sellers in the USA.
Yes, I know, 8.5g is not a lot - but this shit is hot as hell LOL.

POT GOES ON SALE TOMORROW AND I DON'T CARE

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So yeah, tomorrow Pot goes on sale all over Canada. They are expected to not actually have much on the shelf's for some time however. So, as most, I'm expecting day one to be underwhelming and a bit of a disappointment to many.
Personally I won't be going out and getting any ever. It's not good for my mental health you see, so I'll be staying away from it as always.
I have in the past smoked a joint or two in my High School days, and more recently - I have had pot cookies (maybe 3 or 4 years ago). They make me paranoid as hell and I did not at all like it. Yes you can get blends that are very more balanced and don't have much THC in it - but I'm not chancing it ever again.
Honestly the pain relief did not last long when I had the cookies. I'm talking maybe 3 hours. If I need to much down an expensive cookie every 3 hours I don't think I can afford it. It did however 100% kill the pain and literally nothing has done that other than pot.
Right now I have …

Nabob Midnight Eclipse Dark, Roast Coffee

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Nabob Midnight Eclipse Dark Roast Coffee is a great full bodied taste. It's very dark and quite rich tasting. Does not have a great deal of kick to it as most dark roast coffee does not, but it makes up for it in the deep taste. There is a slight nutty taste in the background as well.
If you are used to Full City Dark Roast, then this is a step up from the old cup of coffee. It's more silky and a bit more bitter at the same time. It really does go down well.
I'm going to give it an 8/10. This is based on the flavor VS the price. Yes they are way better tasting dark roasts out there, but not in this price range there ain't.

THE WONDER OF YOUTUBE MATH - AKA CUTTING MORE PEOPLE OFF THE PAYROLL

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So here are 3 different places Google tells me how many subscribers I have on YouTube - what is the correct one? or, are none of them correct? Makes a good case for paying Google to keep statistics for you now don't it?
As well there is this bizarre bug in the Studio app on my phone. I have 3 accounts on all my Android devices. Now and then when I reply to a comment or comment on a video, it will come up with the wrong account for some reason. I mean, I'm logged into the AxeMoose account and it popps up with my TheBrokenMoose account on the comment or reply for some reason.
I've also been talking with people and it seems that most people have had a sharp drop in view count and minutes watched this last while. I'm wondering if they are trying to weed out some more of the small YouTubers from the payed end of things.
I mean most of the people I talked about are down literally 60% on view time and like 40% on view count. How does that even work? Should then not be about the …

YOUTUBE THUMBNAIL EXAMPLES

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3 examples of how my thumbnails are looking these days over on YouTube. I've got a bunch of them in the cloud and use them on my phone when uploading a video. I kind of hate I need 2 apps to do this though, it's silly that I can't get it all done in 1 app.

I CLEANED - AKA, LOW PAIN DAY

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Couple days ago I had a very low pain day and a lot of energy at the same time so I dusted, vacuumed and did the bathroom all in the same day. It's really not often the Fibromyalgia lets me get away with this much cleaning in one day.

THEY ARE LOOKING AT ME

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Just because the appear to be looking at my big toe.

IT MAKES THE BEANS

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Hot Chili Powder and some Italian Herbs went into most of the 6 days worth of bean mix I made today. 2 days of them got some sweet brown curry instead. I am also reminded that I want to get more small containers next time I get my big order.
I'm also reminded I hope they are no longer on strike after the end of the month. I literally can't afford to shop at the Safeway, it's always noticeably more money than the Co-op. I don't want to cross the picket line, but I sure as hell will if I need to.
I can't get delivery at less expensive places, so I go to Co-op - it's a happy medium.

SMALL VEGGIE SUB TREAT

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Small Veggie & Cheese Sub $5.49

• Mozza-Cheddar Bun
• Cheddar Cheese
• Lettuce
• Tomato
• Onion
• Black Olive
• Mushroom
• Pickle
• Banana Pepper
• Jalapeno
• Pineapple
• Sweet and Spicy Thai Sauce



My knees where not going to let me go the 3 blocks to the sub shop so I had it delivered. Was still only $9.19 after taxes. I like this sauce better than the whiskey sauce I think - so more of it in the future unless I get the pulled pork - then it HAS TO BE the whiskey sauce - just sayin'. BTW I really like the name of the fellow that delivered my sub - what a cool name :)