Showing posts from November, 2013

We are a moment and no more

We are a moment and no more.
The world turn to dust in the days to come.
Man has lost his place a long time ago.
History is gone and soon we all will be as well.
The sands of time are at an end.
This one moment and no more.
One life is not enough.
We long for eternity.
Yet we can not even perceive it.
This last act and then the world is gone.
One more task before we fade away.
In the end there will be nothing once more.
In the beginning there was nothing to start with.
It is a moment of time in all of forever.
From nothing to nothing.
We are a joke that want to be a epic story.
Man kind if and was and will be no more.
The struggles for power are meaningless.
We push the button and burn the oil.
We eat the burgers and don't think about it.
We pray that we live on and think that it's just now.
The moment has almost past.
The time of man all but gone.
Nothing will know we existed in time.
We are a flash.
There is flesh and pleasure but once.
Live or be lost.
For in the end there is the void...

David S. Nich…

I am a self destructive dumb ass.

Hi my name is Dave and I am a self destructive dumb ass, who insists on killing himself by binge eating. I know the pizza will make me sick all darn night, yet I order it. Then I eat all but 2 slices of an extra large pizza myself. I know there is a reason for this and I know fill well what it is. Still I do it. Still I always think it will make me feel good and while I am cramming the food into my face it feels like I am in my mothers arms. The moment I realize I am so full it hurts and my tummy is so upset I can hardly stand it, the guilt hits me. Strange thing is, it's the guilt of being who I am that causes me to do this. That unresolved issue between myself as a sexual being and the fundamentalist faith that I once followed. This 4 year span of my life in a church that hate all people like me made me forever hate myself on some level. So every time I start feeling close to God I feel the guilt of being attracted to both men and women. This poison fills my brain and all that …

Abstracts and Fractals


Listen and Want to Listen

Have you ever felt empty? I don't mean bored or alone. I mean empty. The kind of dead inside feeling that makes you want to stop living. Well, I have. I was on the edge of giving up and checking out. I did all kinds of things to make the pain inside stop. The number one this was to let others hurt my body. To let them screw me and beat me. I did not know anything but anger for myself. To be angry was so much more easy than to be in pain inside. To be hurting on the outside was to distract from the inside.

I also drank to kill the pain inside. To try and run from who I was. I don't think of myself as an addict, as I can just have one beer and be done with it. But then I drank to not know what my mind thought of me. I drove my car very fast in the dark all alone and turned the lights off. I had sex with people I did not know just to try and be... Or feel...

I know it's not in fashion these days to talk about a love for God. But this is what changed my world. This is what made …

Art and a Message

Latest bit of art (cemetery). Almost called 911 tonight. Had a spike of pain in my chest and almost went to the floor. But every time I go I get ignored. The have flagged all the people with a history of mental illness here. So we don’t get treated, instead they just think it’s in our heads and pass us over then send us home. It’s happened to me many times. The sad thing is this was on the news and the government admitted to doing it. No one cared at all. They call it “hot spotting”. So I just sit here waiting to die one of these days. I know I won’t get them to take me seriously so I don’t go any more. This is the 3rd time in 2 weeks this has happened. I see the heart doctor on the 14th. It’s to the point that I have given up eating right and instead I am just having what I like now. I stopped giving a shit. I am almost sure I won’t last 5 more years… I intend to enjoy ever last moment of it.
Peace - Dave.
P.S. Thank you Five Hills Health Region for making me loose all faith in our …

Hugs to you sad little man.

7 Years.

For 7 years the same psychotic dolt has been stalking me on YouTube.

How long does it take for a stupid person to realize I don't care that he "hates me".

I do completely understand his sexual attraction to me conflicts with his fundamentalist religious beliefs and so on. But the fact that almost all of his sock accounts where using women's names should spark something in his small mind. But he continues to go on and on and on about pointless things that I am at peace with. His use of the term, "jail cell" - to describe peoples homes, shows that he has spent time in jail. This is something I already know that, as I know he spent time in prison as a sex offender.

At best this is an annoyance for 1 maybe 2 minutes. Then I move on with my happy day, interacting with people who I love and that love me. He on the other hand needs to be pitied, as he will never know love in any form. He hates himself and when he sees his own traits in others, he attacks.

The …

YouTube Comments

Auto generated comments marked as spam. That worked.  Best reaction to the comments change yet.  Unable to reply to comments on my own videos. One of the variations of the channel icon meant as a protest against Google.

The twisted thoughts in your damaged brain.

I know about you. I know your past. I know your crime. I know all there is too know. I can't say I would judge you, as we all do that on first sight. But I can say I understand you. This does not make what you have done right in my eyes. I do, however, forgive you. Still I will never trust you.

I know your reading this and I know you are thinking of me all the time. That's part of your problem, you can't distinguish between the twisted thoughts in your damaged brain and reality. So huddle in the dark halls and talk. Do what you do best and spread your poison. This is what you live for. In the end you only harm yourself. There will be a day of judgment. On that day we will see who is the better person.

Until then, keep reading and keep watching and keep talking. Those that know me well will never listen. Those that listen I want nothing to do with at all. People like you always expose who you are to the fools that listen to you in the first place. They will know and when th…

The W Group