I Hate Living With These Tremors In My Hands

Seriously not doing well today. My hands are super shaky yo the point it is hard to feed myself. I'm typing this with one finer resting my arm on the desk, or it would be impossible. It seriously seems I'm getting more health issues every day. I would rather be dead than in a care home, so this is seriously worrisome. I'm scared to go for coffee this way, I don't want to splash it all over in public. Honestly, I find myself wanting to just not wake up in the morning. I don't want to live this way. But I carry on literally for the love of my friends who are closer to me than what is left of my so called family.