No Birthday Whiskey For Me Thanks AKA Lucky To Be Alive
This is the only fuss I'll be making for my birthday this year. Most other years, I got a bottle of whiskey in and had a go at it. But recently I had an incident where I for no valid reason decided I was going to drink and entire 750ml of vodka. Well I blacked out drinking it then ordered another one delivered. I evidently stayed up all night drinking then posted my song of the day on Instagram and DANG I sound intoxicated. I have no idea how I was awake at this point. Then at 4pm that next day I ordered a 750ml of whisky and drank the entire thing. When I came too, it was Thursday and I thought it was Wednesday.
My friend texted she was picking me up for coffee and I had no idea what happened to Wednesday. I also felt quite intoxicated and had no idea why. That late afternoon I checked my credit card and say that I had consumed a tone of booze. A check of beside my chair in the living room reviled 3 empty bottles and I was feeling lucky to be alive. This may have killed me for Gods sake.
So now I'm not going to have the traditional bottle of whiskey. Other years I'd had 3 to 5 drinks of the whiskey and put it away. For many years when I drank it was 3 or 4 and put it away. I don't have a clue what made me think I could drink the entire bottle with no consequences, but it was extremely foolish and I'll not be repeating the process. I am not promising I'll never order in another bottle of booze in my life, but for now I'm bloody well leaving it alone for some time. If and when I order one in, I'll be SURE to go back to the standard of 3 or 4 at best, then put it the hell away for next time.
As for my birthday. I only celebrate it at all because I want to be with my friends and it was an excuse for a nip of whiskey and a movie in the evening.
Friday I'll be talking to my doctor about this. I'm certain I don't need treatment. However in the past several months I had consumed more than normal several times to the point of half a bottle on at least 4 occasions.
Anyway, this year I feel lucky for the opportunity to be with my friends for my birthday and that I lived to see another day. I also have to admit that in my late 20's I had a time of about 6 months where I hit the drink rather a lot at the bars. I often was drunk when I was driven home - I never drove to the bar then. It was at this time (about 6 month span) where my hands developed tremors that have lasted my entire life to this point. The tremors have gotten worse in the last 3 or 4 years and I am rather sure it's not from drinking, as most of that time span I hardly ever had a bottle. It's only the last year I have been a regular consumer of it to the point or 2 or 3 bottles a month. Before than it was no more than 1 a month.
I can blame stress of the last year or 2 for this, but it feels hollow to do so. Our actions can be driven by outside factors, but in this case I chose to do this. I need for now to step back then later on check if I can handle it in the standard format of 3 or 4 then put it on the shelf (fridge actually). If not, then just stop forever and not look back.