The 4 Steps of My Coffee Outing
Step 1. Get driven to a restaurant miles from my warm safe home and be left alone, because my friend has filled her car 90% of the way up with stuff that should be in the trash, but she can't let go of a single scrap of paper. Have my social anxiety kick into overdrive because no one I know is with me and I feel like I'm going to be murdered any moment by the strange old people sitting 30 feet away from me.
Step 2. Order a coffee and drink it completely and start on the second cup wile waiting for my friend to come back with the second person she picked up. Now the social anxiety is in full panic mode and I want to run out the door and hide in the bushes, but I hold on and keep drinking coffee. NOTE: The coffee does NOT help the anxiety, it probably makes it worse.
Step 3. See my friend drive up and wait for her and my other friend to come inside, so I can feel safe again and not think the old couple are serial killers that want to cut me into little pieces and scatter me around the woods. Feel very received when they both sit down. Then start to worry because the person who is ALWAYS early is not here yet, and he's not answering his texts, so I am sure they crashed the van and are dead.
Step 4. Everyone made it to coffee, and we had a nice chat, now I'm back in the lobby of my building and notice a Saskatchewan Rough Riders flag in the planter out the front window. Then realize, it's the kind you get free with a 12 pack of Pilsner beer. Now remember this is a brand name and it's not actually a Pilsner at all, it's just named that, and that I don't like it, but 85% of adults and 30% of teens in Saskatchewan love this garbage in a small can. Now I miss being a teen and I remember bush parties on the weekend while I was in high school. But I'm off to take a nap now, because I'm 58, disabled, and chronically tired.
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