Blog No. 5,000 - Reflecting on Life

I’m a Christian and I don’t fear death because of it. It is a certainty in my brain that I’ll be in heaven with my loved ones in the end. Several of my friends are the same. Most people don’t believe you when you say this of course, because most people deeply fear death. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to die, I like my life and think I have a reason to be here.

I recall after cutting a violent minded person out of my life for his senseless attack on me over on Facebook, he mocked my on his page – I saw some screen caps. Mocked me my disability and my chronic pain. I knew him very well and for many years. I know he has a super low tolerance to pain. Way below normal that is. So, if he had to live with the pain I’m in right now, he’d take the easy way out, I’m certain of that.

Society these days is very divided. But being disabled and a Christian, I get it from both sides of the coin. People who demand tolerance bashing Christians on the left. On the right we get people blaming disabled people and other minorities for their problems. Less than 2% of their taxes go to the disabled and people on the dole, yet they resent us deeply. Yet they have no problem with cutting taxes for the super-rich.

Life can be exhausting at times, and in other times it can be pure beauty. Once you get to a point where you stop needing the validation of others, life gets a lot better. But constant struggle with everything around me leaves me tired most of the time. I would very much like financial security and a better place to live and some nicer toys. But it will never happen, I will die poor and alone.

In the end I think life has been worth it all. I am loved and needed by people. I am respected by many I know. And I have enough of what I need and some of what I want. The long struggle will be rewarded in Heaven, I think. So, I will always carry on.