Thursday, April 28, 2016

Air Freshener Farm

So the warm weather is here again. You can tell because the Smitty's Pertrocanada here in Moose Jaw has it's air freshener farm going again. See it's about the worst bathroom for smell in the souther part of Saskatchewan. Rather than address the issues, just try and mask it with this shit. This is my friend Dale BTW. He is a trucker. He is also one of the best humans I have ever ran into.

The scented hell kind of makes it hard for me to go in there and use the bathroom if I need to. It's terrible and strong and blows the eyes right out of my head. Oh well what can one expect for a place that has not fixed a table in 3 weeks. Sigh... Not to mention the water for the tea is really not hot. And so on and so on and so on.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Old Photos I Scanned In

 My friend in his Little Red Express Truck. I love this photo.
Chill its an air pistol.
 All too many years ago. Same air pistol.
 Dead now. He died at 49 of a heart attack.
 You will respect my authority. LOL
 To the left and behind me is supposed to be a lake. It dried up that year.
 Age 10. I broke my spine at age 9. Before that I was actually skinny.
 Grade 10
 Graduation. This is my Dad - he was 6'3" 
 Data Entry - A very boring job.
Tailor Park Dave.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Fuck The Poor We Want More

Why are people so stupid? Why are they all lining up to hate the poor and the disadvantaged? The right wing nut jobs keep pumping out all kinds of fake news about "welfare queens" and so on. The fact that the always get caught in a lie does not phase any of their moronic followers in the least bit. Ya know all you have to do is look up online how much people get in what ever situation they are in. It will be on the welfare departments web site all listed out in a nice little table for you to read. I also love that in the last absolute bull shit hate the poor thing I saw, the woman was supposed to be getting $450 a month on food stamps. Well with a husband and 3 kids, do the math. This is NOT a lot of money. I pay $250 to $300 a month to feed myself and I am just one person. I just love how many of these people are in a well paying union job and still think somehow that the welfare system is handing out so much money, these people are getting more than they are. If this was true, why would anyone be working for less than $25 an hour? Think about it. The fact is, there is this profound feeling of self entitlement that they have. This leads to the fuck the poor, we want more attitude. They blame the taxes they pay almost exclusivity on welfare and social programs. It's so far from reality that it is unimaginable that they actually think this. The reality is, if you put all the subsidies that business gets into the mix, you will find that the government is shelling out a hell of a lot more to them than to the poor. There is also the political shell that is known as "make work". They don't dare call it that though and they hide the fact that they are paying at least half of the wage of the people who get these "new jobs" in the first place. The other reality of this one is that when the 2 months or 6 months term is up for the subsidised portion, these people are let go and more are brought in to keep the government money coming in. Then the government at the end of the year will spout out how many jobs they "created". The reality is, it's the same small group of people going from short term to short term some place else and they are counted many times as "new jobs". Why is this not jumped on by the right wing? Oh wait for the most part, these are the people getting the handout to "create jobs". Here in town it's like $300 a month for rent they give you. There is literally not one place here that you can get an apartment for that. For $450 though, you can get a place that is so small you can only own a bed and nothing else and the paint is pealing off the walls. So you have to pay money out of what they give you for food just to be in a warm place. Not a safe place though. Not by far. People are just all too stupid these days and ready to accept anything the media tells them. They are literally drowns for a political movement that wants to literally let poor people starve to death in the streets in order to get more profits. Man the people that fall for this always make me wonder how crappy the world will be for the next generation. In the mean time, the rich are getting more rich and the middle class is shrinking and burdened with a pile of debt. Debt that is there because the listened to the media telling them to buy a bunch of crap to look like they are successful in the eyes of other sheep. I love that the majority of the right wing claim to be Christians too. Christ would literally be telling these people to their face, that they are terrible sinners and not worthy of his gift. That is the best part. In the end, I don't know if I should laugh at the stupidity or pray for the people they are trying to crush.

Peace and Love - Dave.

Constant Fear That It's The End

Ya know I wish the heart doctor would have just let me die and not told me. Every time my tummy is upset or my chest flutters a bit, I think "is this it?" Sigh. Thanks man - I really wanted to live the rest of my life wondering if this is the time. See if I did not know - I would not live as long, but I also would have had no fear about it. Now it's always there. Every moment. And when the dizziness comes, I really think "is this it?" Sigh. Would have been better to just up and drop without knowing. I sure as hell know what it felt like for Mom when she was told there was not much time. At least she had the blessing of losing her mind first and going off into a happy land of things and people the rest of us could not see. So she went out happy. My last thought I am sure will be a lot less than happy. For all the times I said, "I don't fear death", now that it's a reality, I'm terrified. I only hope it gets more easy as the time goes on. And what if I last 15 or 20 more years? Will I still be freaking out or will I just accept it when it comes. The told me that Dad felt nothing when we died. I sad beside him driving the car when he passed. I can tell you he was in hell for about 30 seconds. Yes he felt it and it was terrible. I also wonder about the void I will leave in so many peoples lives. The count on me to cheer them up and to be there to talk to. Too many things that I feel every time I get dizzy like I am right now to be able to express them all. There is fear and there is the desire to just have it over with and there is the question of what is next and will it hurt like Dad and... Well you get the point. It all comes to mind then I want to just close my eyes and have it go away. I really do want a lot more time. I want to see the world threw they eyes of an old man. But my choices in life for many many years and the fact that I never listened to the many people who told me it would kill me, hangs it all on me. I also wonder for the years that I was complaining I am dizzy a lot to my Doctor and the times I told them about the strange feeling in my chest - did they care? I mean this is at least 5 years I been saying it. If it was not for an ER visit I would not have even been sent to the Heart Doctor. I don't even remember why I went in but the did an EKG and where concerned. I've already had one heart attack you see. I just literally did not feel it. Oh well, maybe it's way too late and maybe there is time to change things and get more time. I don't know and that drives me mad. In the end we all die. In the end most of us want more time. In the end almost all of us are scared to go. In the end we are all alone, even if we are in a room full of people at the time. I am fairly sure I am having one hell of a panic attack right now, but the uncertainty makes it much worse. If this is my time my last thought would be, "I hope the slow cooker don't start a fire". How silly is that? Oh well time to go and lay down and hold my Pusheen stuffy.

Peace and Love - Dave...

Movies I Watched This Week - Apr 26, 2016

Love Story (1970) (4/5)

Kill Your Darlings (2013) (5/5)

Love Story (1981) (1/5)

Furious 7 (2015) (1/5) *NOTE: Don't know what I expected they all sucked worse than the last one.

Lakeview Terrace (2008) (3/5)

The Transporter Refueled (2015) (4/5)

Pay The Ghost (2015) (3/5)

Mississippi Grind (2015) (2/5)

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) (5/5)

Five Easy Pieces (1970) (4/5)

Broken City (2013) (4/5)

Welcome to the Punch (2013) (5/5)

Cold Deck (2015) (3/5)

Estranged (2015) (4/5)

Sunday, April 24, 2016

My Mew Medication Is Very Expensive

Ok this is a life preserving medication called Entresto. It's new and all. The idea of me taking it is to slow down the heart failure that is in process right now with me. Look at that price. There is a thing where I can get a free year of it and that is what I am doing now. At the end of this if it is not covered by the drug plan I will have to apply for exceptional status for it. This would have it covered so I don't have to pay literally more money that I have just to stay alive. I am literally praying that it is covered in by the end of this year free. The thing is when you apply for exceptional status you have to first pay for it then they will pay you back the first time, after that it is just covered. The ability for me to come up with $267.02 is about non existent. And to come up with more money that I have left over after rent, food and bills every month would be rather a problem to say the least. So here is hoping that Sask Health covers this in the future. Fact is I pay less for all the rest of the dugs I am on combined. Well I would if they where not covered that is.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Saying Goodbye Before It's Too Late To Say It

Possible causes of heart failure include (Have or had all of these):
Sleep apnea
Abnormal heart rhythm
High blood pressure
Heart attack

Signs of Heart Failure:
You feel light-headed or dizzy, especially when you stand up or increase your activity. (5 or 6 years complaining of this to the doctors)
You cannot walk as far you normally can. (2 years complaining of this to the doctors)
You feel bloated or your clothes feel tighter than normal. (yup)
You have swelling in your feet, ankles, legs, or even up into the belly. (all of them and been saying it for 2 or 3 years)
Sudden increase in body weight where you gain more than 4 pounds (2 kilos) in 2 days. (65lbs in 2 months)
You feel uneasy, like something does not feel right. (OK had this for like 20 years or more)
You feel confused and have trouble thinking clearly. (complained of this for 2 years or more)
You feel short of breath when you do daily activities. (been saying this for several years now)
You find it harder to breathe when resting or lying down. (a good 2 years complaining of this to the doctors)
You find it easier to sleep by adding pillows or by sitting up in a chair. (for about 2 years)
You cough often, especially when lying down. (the last 4 months I been coughing all day every day)
You feel your heart racing, jumping, or pounding in your chest. (been telling the doctor this for at least 3 years)

Most people die within five years of onset. Well if I look at my history, I can literally die any time now. More than likely it's way too late by now. Sigh. Oh well we all die I guess. Literally I am quite ready for it. I have been in so much pain for so long now that it might just be a blessing to not be alive any more. When you are dead there is no pain. After Mom passed away, I rather stopped fearing death and saw it as a release from this world. I also do want to live for a long time yet, but I don't care if it's today that the end comes. It's so strange when I say that to people, I don't think people not in my situation can understand this.

Right now I am so dizzy I can hardly keep from passing out. I have a strange feeling in my chest like a fluttering. It's only slightly a worry to me though. For some reason this is not bothering me much. I think it is bothering the people who love me a lot more than it is me in fact. I know it really set off my best friend when I told he and he kind of lost it there for a moment. Oh well. Shit happens...

So what can I say? Goodbye word. I have loved this life to the last moment and I am happy for all of it. The good the bad, it all made me who I am and that brought me close to a lot of good people. What can I say? I love you all and I know you will miss me. But know I believe there is a better place after this. A place of pure love and happiness. I will see you there one day and we will dance and be marry.

Peace and Love - Dave.

Tinny and Big Pusheen

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Lizards Run The World - Wake Up People!

Lizards run the free world and keep the rest of the world in poverty and war to distract us from their plot to slowly change us into slaves to their will. The effect of social media, TV, Movies and the music industry are clearly doing the job right. The ones who are not docile and willing to please will eventually all end up fighting among each other and killing themselves off. The GMO food we eat, the water we drink, and the air we breath are infected with the DNA altering chemicals that are changing humanity. The collective IQ is lowering and the desire for education and social justice is almost eliminated. Soon we will be no more than slaves and rabid dogs. Once the war like kill each other off and the poisoning of the 3rd world is complete, there will be only around 80 million people left. They will spend their entire lives working for the comfort of the lizards. It's almost too late, but we still have a chance. Rise up people and be free of the oppressing hands of these creatures from the depths of the earth. Drive them back to the underground hells they came out of. Be free and be strong!
Has anyone seen my meds?

Old Person Play List

1 Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love
2 Rammstein - Du Hast
3 Ozzy Osbourn - I Don't Wanna Stop
4 Rob Zombie - Dragula
5 Rob Zombie - Lords Of Salem
6 Black Sabbath - God Is Dead
7 Black Sabbath - Dear Father
8 Bid Pig - Devil's Song
9 Apochalyptica - Rage of Poseidon (Premium Version)
10 Colide - White Rabbit (Chasing The Ghost)
11 Disturbed - The Sound of Silence
12 Disturbed - Wrong
13 Disturbed - Never Wrong
14 Disturbed - Voices
15 Disturbed - The Game
16 Disturbed - God Of The Mind
17 The Prodigy - Firestarter
18 Rush - Tom Sawyer
19 Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son
20 Metallica - Whiskey in the jar
21 Kansas - Dust in the Wind
22 The Mamas & The Papas - California Dreamin'
23 Skrillex - Fuck That
24 Skrillex - Regga Bomb
25 Skrillex - Bangarang (Feat. Sirah)
26 Skrillex - Kyoto (Feat. Sirah)
27 Skinny Puppy - Assimilate
28 Skinny Puppy - Christianity
29 Meat Loaf - Bat Out of Hell
30 Arch Enemy - You Will Know My Name

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Weight from Oct 7, 2014 to Apr 16, 2016


Oct. 7, 2014
Oct. 27, 2014
Nov. 20, 2014
Dec. 2, 2014
Dec. 8, 2014
Feb. 17, 2015
Mar. 1, 2015
Mar. 8, 2015
Mar 15, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 29, 2015
Apr 05, 2015
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 19, 2015
Apr 26, 2015
May 05, 2015
May 11, 2015
May 17, 2015
May 24, 2015
June 07, 2015
June 23, 2015
June 27, 2015
July 04, 2015
July 9, 2015
July 13, 2015
July 19, 2015
July 26, 2015
Aug 8, 2015
Aug 16, 2015
Aug 23, 2015
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 27, 2015
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 18, 2015
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 15, 2015
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 29, 2015
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 26, 2015
Jan 02, 2016
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 17, 2016
Jan 25, 2016
Feb 1, 2016
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 29, 2016
Mar 4, 2016
Mar 22, 2016
Mar 28, 2016
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 16, 2016





UP or DOWN (lbs)

No Change
No Change
No Change

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

My Top 50 Movies of All Time List

1 THX 1134 (1971)
2 The Congress (2013)
3 Metropolis (1927)
4 Blade Runner (1982)
5 Ghost in the Shell (1995)
6 2001 (1968)
7 Stalker (1979)
8 The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
9 The Island of Lost Souls (1932)
10 Moon (2009)
11 Phantasm (1979)
12 Amistad (1997)
13 The Book of Eli (2010)
14 Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
15 Wanted (2008)
16 Waltz with Bashir (2008)
17 Zulu (1964)
18 Room 237 (2012)
19 Mad Max (1979)
20 Mad Max Fury Road (2015)
21 Das Boot (1981)
22 Last Knights (2015)
23 Easy Rider (1969)
24 Automata (2014)
25 Moby Dick (1956)
26 Taxi Driver (1976)
27 13 Sins (2014)
28 Hellraiser (1987)
29 Places in the Heart (1984)
30 American Psycho (2000)
31 Lovely Molly (2011)
32 Quest for Fire (1981)
33 It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963)
34 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
35 House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
36 Labyrinth (1986)
37 The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
38 Heavy Metal (1981)
39 The Babadook (2014)
40 American Jesus (2013)
41 The Blues Brothers (1980)
42 The Last Samurai (2003)
43 The Color Purple (1985)
44 The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
45 Equus (1977)
46 American History X (1998)
47 The Great Gatsby (2013)
48 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
49 Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
50 The Exorcist (1973)
honorable mention: The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2015)

Saturday, April 9, 2016

The True Measure of Success

Most of the time people trust me almost form the first moment they encounter me. This could have lead me down 2 paths. I could have screwed them over and taken from them. But I chose to help them and to build them up instead. The measure of who a person is, is not how much they have but how they treat others. The only thing of true value in this world is to be loved and accepted for all the right reasons. Often we confuse the desire to be like someone (rich and powerful or talented) with loving them. this is not love now matter what the media tells you. This is only an empty desire pro-generated by illusion of success. In the end money, power and fame is meaningless. We all die and we all rot in the ground. What is more important is to be loved and missed after you are gone. We throw away celebrity, political power and fame when we are done with them. The new guard comes along and the old ones are forgotten. It is rare for someone of fame to have a lasting impart on the world. In ever instance where I can think they have, they where people who gave to this world not who demanded from it. When I pass I know a lot of people I have touched in this world will remember me fondly and smile. If I chose the other path, then I would be lost to the world at the end of my life. No one would recall me with fondness.

Friday, April 8, 2016

How To Make A Thumbnail In PaintShop Pro

Bottom Layer is a Raster Layer with the colored bars on it.
2nd up is a Vector Layer solid circle with the color of the background.
3rd up is a Vector Layer outline only circle with a color from the background.
4th up is The Shadow Layer of Text (Vector).
5th up is The Text Layer (Vector).
Top layer is the Distress map set to Overlay.

10 3D Fractals

Sunday, April 3, 2016

So The YouTube Video Don't Play

I know - I know! It's because you can't handle providing service at peak times :) I know, you are going to blame it on my service provider even though they have the best bandwidth in Canada... BUT... It's your fault Google. See you have more servers than the rest of the world combined and yet still manage to have slow load times, stalling videos and well videos that never start to play. Not to mention I have not been able to reply to some people for like over a year now. Sigh... Bite me!

Dear YouTube Stuff Your Recommended Videos Will Ya?

So both these have been on every last video I seen in the last 2 days in the sidebar. I don't know how long it says "new" for but it's been 2 days sooo... The other thing is, there is no way for me to lick "I don't FLIPPING CARE" so it will be stuck there for a week or more just like the last 2 or 3 it was trying to force me to click on. If I do click this utter CRAP to get rid of it, then it will spawn even more of this shit in my sidebar. For the love of life, let me tell you I don't want to see this shit and make it go away. I am starting to be to the point where I want to write an extension that will cover the sidebar so I don't have to look at this CRAP any more. Holly shit on a stick - it's like the one time for two months non stop it wanted me to watch little kids doing gymnastics. I have zero interest in that at all and ask me if I think people should be posting videos of their very young kids dressed like that tumbling around on a place proliferated with perverts? How the living hell did these even get into my recommends? What did I possibly watch? All I watch is daily vloggers, street racing and cyst popping videos. And tell me why every single video I watch has these 2 videos of zero interest to me stamped on them? Sigh... So the point of your marketing is to annoy people until they click it just to make it go away? WOW...

13 Thumbnails I Made for YouTube...