Dave Nicholson

Many years ago (over 10) I decided I would not have sex with anyone ever again. This does not exclude doing the job myself however. But I will for the rest of my life be single by choice and never have any kind of sexual contact with another person. I am rather sure that most people do not know the weight of the word vow. But this is exactly what I’m taking about. I took a vow to give up sex and coupling of any kind. I do realize how stupid and extreme this sounds. But for me it’s the exact right thing to do. You see, I’m hypersexual so this is a difficult task to say the least. The fact that I’m pansexual as well does not help the fact. Added into the mix I’m attracted to a very wide range of body types. This all ads up to this being rather difficult in the start. However, cut to a decade later and it’s rather easy for me to be alone in more ways than one. This does not exclude friends of course. I have many friends that are far closer to me than family. They are of both sexes and ...

Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood Rio - Duran Duran Somebody's Watching Me - Rockwell The Power Of Love - Huey Lewis And The News I Ran (So Far Away) - A Flock Of Seagulls Whip It - Devo Girls on Film - Duran Duran Working for the Weekend - Loverboy You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - Dead Or Alive Der Kommissar (7" Version) - After The Fire The Reflex - Duran Duran Owner of a Lonely Heart - Yes Mr. Roboto - Styx Cars - Gary Numan Burnin' for You - Blue Oyster Cult We Built This City - Starship Union of the Snake - Duran Duran Maneater - Daryl Hall & John Oates West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics Don't You Want Me - The Human League Video Killed The Radio Star - The Buggles Shout - Tears For Fears A View to a Kill - Duran Duran

So another year I spend Christmas on my own, pretending a stuffed cat is company for me. If I was allowed to have pets where I live, it would be a real cat I'd be sharing my life with. The back story is my attachment to this small stuffed cat I have (Pusheen the cat). From the moment I got her, I was very fond of her. When I'm in pain or having a panic attack, I will hold her and for some reason it does actually help. This is going to sound very crazy and in a way it kind of is. Every morning when I get up I pretend to feed my collection of stuffed cats. So being I have no family to be with oh Christmas it's just them and myself. Yes there are friends who wish me well and love me like family but I can't be with them. The ones in town have their own family to be with and I feel so much more isolation being at their family gatherings than I do if I am alone. To be honest, I'm used to the feeling and it took several years to get over the lonely feeli...

This does not speak for everyone, but only of the people I have known with addictions. At first they all used it to escape reality. To be more than they really are or just to kill the pain they had inside. Then whatever they where using won. It became the master. My brother was a shining example of this. For the majority of his life he used booze to escape the emotional pain he felt inside. Later in life he also used pain medication to escape the pain inside. Well, abused not used. We had the same childhood. We lived almost the same life until it was time to leave home. I had chronic depression and still only used booze as a fun thing now and then, not every day to blot out the pain. For my brother, he felt like the world was out to make his life miserable. He felt persecuted. To talk to him many years on was like hearing the story of a stranger. He talked about how Mom and Dad tried to make his life hell and how he was constantly being punished by them. My remembran...

Did actually good this week and I was astonished at it. I'm kind of sure the upcoming week will not be as good. Christmas always messes me up for weight. 25 Weeks up. 24 Weeks down. 2 Weeks no change. Total for the year is +28.4 lbs. All time total is -117.6 lbs. With only 1 week left in the term, kind of sure I'll not be down for the year unless literally a miracle happens. So many times falling off the wagon this year. It's been a constant struggle.

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So I got this for $3 and it's a good deal. I eat 4 of them and got sick. My tummy hated them and I was in physical pain from it (Fibro flair). I was certain there is nothing wrong with the cookies so I gave them away and the person that ended up consuming them was fine. So one more thing I used to love that I can no longer eat. Honestly by the time I drop dead I'll be down to unsalted crackers or something. I also can't have processed pineapple - not even on a pizza. The strange thing is, if I eat it fresh I'm fine. But the list is growing of things I can no longer consume.

This is actually some beef stew that I tossed into the toilet to get rid of it. But kind of looks bad at first glance LOL. This being said, the one time I went into a local store and had to hit the toilet. I opened the stall and honest to GOD I don't know how the person lived doing what they did. There was poop on 3 walls and the toilet was covered. Seriously I dad to think someone took a bucket of poop and tossed it all over the place. Then I got talking to people who cleaned up in a care home. Well turns out this actually can happen. It can end up all over the walls and all over the person. I literally can't imagine this. I can see a bit of spray but enough to literally cover 3 walls. My brain won't let me process this as being a human possibility. This being said, I once exploded on the toilet and thank GOD I was home and alone. I literally ended up stepping out of my clothing and getting into the shower. My butt and privates where covered and dripping. There was onl...

I just got a free Google Nest Mini for being a member of YouTube Premium. I took advantage of it even though I have no desire to have a smart speaker thing. Maybe I can trade it for a bottle of whisky? Actually since it's free I'll use it. Not like I'd go out of my way to spend this kind of money on something that will be listening to me all day LOL. Not really free though is it? I kind of sent them $12 a month for almost a year.