Showing posts from 2019



My Urologist Sucks

Kind of share my urologist can't find his ass with both hands. Left nut is killing me again. How is it 4 different doctors in this town can't find a 2.5 mm cyst? He knows it's there he saw the fucking report from the ultrasound. Comes off saying he doesn't know why its hurting, says its stress related. So I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life because I live in a city full of incompetent doctors. Trust me, you can ask other people here what they think of the doctors. Meanwhile, this hurts so bad it's making me nauseous. Jesus!


If I get 10 more good years I will be lucky. I'm hoping to drop dead just when I'm 64 so I don't have to bother with the vast amount of effort it will take to move from Sask disability to the federal old age system and an entirely new system of drug and medical coverage. I'm almost a plant now, can't imagine at 65 doing all that paperwork.
Then again a very close friend and I have talked about after "10 good years" we could just check out in a blaze of glory. Ya know get drunk and stoned for days then just take too much and be found a by a maid in a motel or something.
All jokes aside (I know that was an evil one), if I ever hear the words "cancer or dementia" I'm freaking out of here. No joke - just out of here. Sure I'll fight cancer if I have a chance, but if it's stage 4 and no hope - off I go into the gentle night.
I only wish that the right to assisted suicide here in Canada was expanded to a directive that one could have filed wi…


I've been blocked on Facebook for a lot of reasons. Here are some of them:

• Telling someone sexual assault is not a joke.
• Using the "F word" too much - this came from someone who constantly posted photos of her sex toys.
• Because "I'm starting to like you more than my husband so I have to block you".
• Really a LOT of people because I think Trump is the worst man for the job.
• For voting Liberal in the Saskatchewan and federal elections.
• For saying "who cares, you knew what I meant" when someone tried to correct my spelling.
• For posting too many photos.
• For sharing a persons PUBLIC post.
• For being openly pansexual and/or fluid gender.
• For liking pineapple on a pizza.
• For insisting there is proof the world round, not flat.
• For liking cats.
• For collecting Pusheen toys and posting photos of them.
• For saying everyone should have the same rights, not special rights (they told me they where calling the RCMP on me).
• For sharing a video of a dra…

PHOTO BLOG 6-21-2019

Paint splatter.  ER parking lot at the Moose Jaw hospital.  Typical cloudy day.  Me sitting in the dark about to start reading. My gel-pen don't work to well, but it's got Pusheen on it.


Still dealing with the aftermath of my surgery. I still maintain I got nothing for pain management when I was in the hospital. If they did give me any, it was enough for a small child only, and not for a very large adult.
 When I was told to get dressed to go home (the same day) I was crying out in pain every time I moved. The effort to get dressed and into the van was monumental.
I've looked back at the video I posted the same day - I was shaking and white the bandage you see below.  It's been 11 days and I'm still in a bit of pain.
I've had 3 other surgery's in the past and I have not needed pain management after any of them - just the same day of the operation did I need something. So obviously this was a LOT bigger deal than before.
I don't know what the hell it is with the hospital in Moose Jaw (and doctors) not wanting to give you pain meds that actually kill pain, but it's extremely common. Many people I know have had the same issue.
I don…


Day 3 of on and off soft rain. This is just what we need here in southern Saskatchewan. It's been the driest it's been on record. The crops need to have moisture and this is just how to do it.
If it just dumps rain on us, the water runs off and does not soak into the dirt. The region relies heavily on crops and it's good for all of us to have this rain.
I know I'm the first one to scoff that there is no sun and say I would like to sit outside, but I'll suck it up and stay in, and say "it's needed" to myself.
Have a blessed day.


I been trying to loose weight on mass for 4 years now. This year has been a disaster and I'm up like 20 lbs or so in total this year. That being said I gained 18 lbs this last week in 6 days - mostly from having an operation done on me.
I ended up peeing all night the one night and then poof 6.2 lbs less the next day. There is a possibility some of this 18lbs however was a delayed reaction to the week before I went in for surgery. I was not good the week before and it's happened before that I gain weight the next week, not that week.
This being said, I'm not looking to look great. I was 500 lbs at one time. There is no possibility of me looking sexy and firm after dropping hundreds of pounds. If you think this will happen, you must have a lot of money for cosmetic surgery - you will be left with a great deal of loose skin and all them strech marks still there.
I did not go for the gastric surgery as it's risky and you only tend to drop 20% of your weight in total after it…


So this is a week old photo. Bacon fried eggs (scrambled) with sriracha on them. Nothing special, just farm fresh, free range eggs with bacon in it. I almost never have bacon these days. In fact I almost never have meat when I'm sticking to my diet, but MMM bacon.

Weightloss this year is s disaster so far



So I had a very large hernia repaired a week ago today. The pain was out of this world when I got out of there. They told me I had 2 shots of morphine - but I can say I freaking doubt they gave me anything. I'd not have been totally clear headed and in the worst pain of my life when I was getting dressed to go home.

Yeah here in Saskatchewan, you get sent home from an operation the same day 96% of the time. It's kind of amazing no one drops dead - sigh.

But anyways, the pain meds they gave me did cut the pain but only by 30% I'd say. They also plugged me up so bad I had to go to the ER 4 days later to get unplugged. That was also not very fun.

Did I mention that the night after I was sent home I was in the ER because my bladder would not drain? Well yeah, a well known and common side effect of anaesthesia. But... Oh well.

So any way it's a week later and I have put on 18 lbs and I'm kind of sure it's mostly water weight. I'm am swollen up so bad my shirt it tig…






So the other day I was told by the nice ER doctor to roll on my side so he could examine my butt hole. This is the result on one of my wounds.
I changed the dressing yesterday (2 days after the ER) and this is what it looked like, so yeah - it opened up a bit and started to drain.
Today there is a small spot there of brown again. Until it gets much bigger a spot I won't change it. 9 days from now I'm supposed to get the staples out, but if this thing is still leaking, obviously it will open then. I'm hoping it won't, but it just might.
In any event, the belly is feeling a LOT better now. I'm no longer in terrible pain. I am using my muscles different to prevent hurting my newly fixed muscles inside of me, so I have cramps now and then in a couple spots - as I don't normally use these muscles like this. I just hope to God I never have to have this happen again. The pain is out of this world and the meds cause you to plug up so bad that nothing will soften the poop. …

Before I Sleep PlayList

White Rabbit – Collide
Dragula – Rob Zombie
Zombie – Bad Wolves
Living Dead Giel – Rob Zombie
Somebody That I Used to Know – Gotye
Dancing on Glass – Mötley Crüe
How Soon is Now? – The Smiths
First of the Year (Equinox) – Skrillex
Immigrant Song – Led Zeppelin
Bad Romance – Lady Gaga
Born to Die – Lana Del Ray
Bring Me to Life – Evanescence
Crushed – Collide
Before I’m Dead – Kindneythieves
Never Wrong – Disturbed
Rolling in the Deep – Adele
Said – Awolnation
You Don’t Own Me – Grace
Love the Way You Lie – Eminem
Dreamsleep – Collide
The Sound of Silence – Pentatonix
House of 1000 Corpses – Rob Zombie
Save Yourself – Stabbing Westward
Smooth Criminal – Alien Ant Farm
Voodoo – Godsmack

Mostly Duran Duran PlayList

Hungry Like the Wolf – Duran Duran
Eyes Without A Face – Billy Idol
Dragula – Rob Zombie
Rebel Yell - Billy Idol
Rio – Duran Duran
Africa – Toto
Come Undone – Duran Duran
Take on Me – a-ha
Ordinary World – Duran Duran
You Give Love a Bad Name – Bon Jovi
Der Kommissar – After the Fire
Sweet Drams (Are Made of This) – Eurythmics
Paint it, Black – The Rolling Stones
Girls on Film – Duran Duran
I Ran (So Far Away) – A Flock of Seagulls
Immigrant Song – Led Zeppelin
Maneater – Daryl Hall & John Oates
Billie Jean – Michael Jackson
Carry on Wayward Son – Kansas
Your Love – The Outfield
The Reflex – Duran Duran
Livin’ On A Prayer – Bon Jovi
Save a Prayer – Duran Duran
West End Girls – Pet Shop Boys
Beat It – Michael Jackson


Well I had an operation. They punched a bunch of holes in me and stitched up a very large hernia and installed a mesh over top of it to help keep it all in place.
This is the second time they repaired one in the aria. The first one was very small and they did it the old fashioned way by cutting me open and installing the mesh. It failed in a few years.
When it failed, it ripped me open from the centre to the left side almost all the way over. It was the size of a cantaloupe. My insides stuck out about 2 inches when I stood up.
Now After this repair I was sent home the same day. I did not have a day in bed to heal like I did the last time. Now they send 96% of people home the same day in Moose Jaw.
I have to say even with fibromyalgia flairs, I have never felt pain like this in my life. The pain was indescribable. I was screaming as I was putting on my clothing. I seriously doubt they had given me any pain medication when they put me out or after that. They said I had two doses of it in my…


So I order skip the dishes at 5:48 at 7:15 I flip out on them on Twitter. 7:30 a driver is sent to get my 1 hamburger (now stale and cold). 7:36 the single most irritating thing of my life occurs. I spend 4 minutes on the phone trying to get the guy to use the freaking door intercom so o can buzz him in. 4 times I say, its behind you. I wish I recorded it on video. This is beyond silly. So they give me a $5 credit I'll never use, as ill never use them again. There are 33000 people here... how does it take this long? And where do you get people who can't get into a building with a buzzer? Freaking hell.

PHOTO BLOG 6-10-2019

Freaking Amazon broke my cookies.  Did all the dishes so I'm up to date on them. Also made 4 days of meals ready to eat in the fridge, so these containers are now filled. My towels and bathmat came - this is a retro lower quality mat, but it's nice on the feet.