SAID Did Not Handle It at All

I'm actually extremely more sad than angry. I put a lot of energy into trying to get an advance, but it seems doomed to not happen, no matter how much I need it.

Mar 13, 2024 I email SAID (disability in Saskatchewan). Mar 15, 2024 Left a voice mail. Mar 18, 2024 left another voice mail. Mar 20, 2024 got a call telling me they would process the advance on Mar 21, 2024. The deposit into my account should have been just after midnight on Mar 22, 2024.

Well this is 6:46 am Mar 22, 2024 and I have left yet another voicemail. The money was never deposited OF COURSE. I need shoes SOON, but do you think I can get the government workers to do what they are being paid to do? Well, no I can't. I would pray that they get the message and it somehow magically gets deposited today before 1 pm. But I am rather sure this was the last push I needed to stop believing there is a God.

I am really depressed right now and exhausted. The stress of them taking so dang long to even get back to me has left me with almost no energy, and feeling very stressed. I have slept very little in the last few days. I just very much feel like getting drunk off my ass, and that is literally dangerous for me in a life threatening way. I'm also left with dark thoughts I just don't want to go into here right now.

I have a mental illness and it causes me in part to think every thing that goes wrong is the end of the world and leaves me distraught. This compounded with the extreme amount of time it took to get told they would do it the next day, then it not getting done at all, has left me in a very bad state of mental well being.

To top things off, I not only need shoes, but my bed has decided to pack it in last night. There was a board in the box spring that was acting up and I was worried it was going to break. Well sure enough, it broke last night. This leaves my bed in a state where it could be dangerous to sleep in it. So now I need a new bed frame. Why a bed frame and not a box spring? Because it seems a bloody box spring is almost $300 for no valid reason, and a 14 inch tall frame that is rated to 600 lbs is much less money. Still all in all, I need $200, or about, to get both things I need.

April is extra money month. The lower income people get a GST rebate and a Carbon Tax rebate. But wait, the government of Saskatchewan has refused to collect carbon tax on natural gas - so the feds are not going to give us a rebate for the Carbon Tax here in Saskatchewan. This of course has taken the burden of paying a Tax on natural gas from the middle and upper classes, and placed it on the lower class who needs the money the most. This is kind of typical of how government works in general. It seems the more poor you are, the more you pay to the system in Taxes scaled to how much you make. The reverse is also true, the more you have (money wise), the less you pay scaled to how much you make. The percentage of income Taxed is much higher the lower your income and much lower the higher your income.

So being I use the GST rebate to catch up on things I need, but can't afford month to month, I can't use it for the bed, and the shoes. The Carbon Tax rebate could have gone to that, but NOPE, we are not getting that one. It's even vanished from the Revenue Canada website for people who live here (in our tax accounts). So, we pay the tax (poor people) and then don't get a rebate, thus heightening the burden on the poor.

I honestly am ready to give up on getting the shoe money from them. If I don't get a result from the voicemail I just left, I'm freaking done trying to get it from them. It's not like they are just giving me money, it comes out of my pay for 3 months after, so it's paid back in full. As for the bed, I may have to literally not have things I generally need around the apartment so that I can get it. The food budget has already been cut, and I'll be eating extremely unhealthy food next month to compensate for needing to spend a pile of money. Then it's down to seeing what I can get away with not ordering.

I know they are probably busy and maybe even overworked, but dang it, it's been over a week, and nothing to show for it but a broken promise of processing the advance. I'm severely unimpressed and can't say I'll ever be able to trust these people ever again. Every time I think of them from now on, this will be in my head and I will think less of them.

I also have to say, I'm really not handling the stress well, and it's making me physically sick. The lack of sleep can't possibly be good for my health - and being I have a bad heart, physical disabilities, and fibromyalgia, it's all taking a tole. For example I'm having a very bad flair right now and I'm in terrible pain - even my bones hurt. It's actually amazing to me that I can express myself at all, with how little sleep I've had in the last few days. I just want this all resolved, and I am having trouble figuring out how to do that. I guess the shoes will have to wait for a few months until the next extra money month - if they will last that long. The bed on the other hand NEEDS to be done. If I do end up with the advance (magically), I'll get the shoes of course, as that is what the money is supposed to be for. But I really don't hold much hope of them handing it right now.

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