A Month of Blogs Day 10 (Best Friend)


3 people in my life I have called best friend. 2 drifted out of my life and the latest one has died on me. I don't know if I will ever have another person with that label. I find it hard to get close enough to a person to count them as a best friend.

I'm not going to use names, I'm just going to use a letter for each of them. I rather doubt the other 2 will ever see this, as I'm rather sure they don't even know this page exists - we are not in contact at all, and it's been over 20 years since I saw either of them.

First we had M. We went to school together for many years and it was a lot of fun. We did everything together. We would ride our bikes all over the city and out into the countryside. It was different in the 1970's, kids where allowed a lot of freedom. We knew everything about each other and had the same personality completely. Before he left, he started to change and we where not as close. When he left I asked him to write me, so I could know his address and write back. The letter never came in the mail. I kind of felt betrayed at the time, but now I realize he probably just wanted to start fresh and not hold onto the past.

Next we had D. Again we went to school together and did a lot of activities with each other. There was also the computer user meetings on the weekends and fun in the park in the evenings with a fire in the fire pit. I was not as close as I was to M and we clashed personality wise at points, but we where close. Again he changed and not for the better at all. He moved on with his life and we never spoke for years. I saw him on social media and sent a message, but it went unanswered. His profile was sparse at best but it was him alright. I don't think he got married and it said he worked for the city of Edmonton.

There was another D I was close to, and he went to school with me at one time as well. We did not talk for years after school then became friends again. But this D was not a "best friend", but rather just a friend. He went mean and was ready to fight at the drop of a hat. I had to walk away from him. I'm not going to ignore outright abuse in a verbal manner toward me and over something that should have been full on obvious to him, but he refused to see reality. The fact that several other people we both knew said the same thing did not matter to this D. There was also the matter of him taking stuff home that was not his now and then, that's just not cool either.

We come to the final best friend, and the one that was the closest to me. We had a deep bond and where basically the same person in different bodies. She was A. We met because of a mutual friend and became very close very fast. I think if we had met 20 years ago, we would have ended up married, but by the time we met, we both had enough of that kind of thinking and had no intention of falling in love. We would talk and laugh for hours and end. We would chat on messenger for hours as well. Many times we stayed up to 2 am talking or texting. I've never been closer to a person in my life. I was closer to her than to any of my family - I hate to say that, but it was true. I could not get hold of her and months went past. I sent texts to her relative and no reply came back. Then a friend sent me a link to her obituary and I cried for hours - I'm crying now. I miss her so dang much and I want to just be with her again so badly. I hope we meet up in the great hereafter.

I don't think I'll ever call another person best friend to be honest. I hurts too much to let them go, and at my age I get emotional easily. I used to be a hard ass and nothing shook me in my youth, but now, I cry at a sad movie scene. I've lost a lot of people in my life and when they are very close, it hurts so much more to say goodbye. But there is time left in life and when you get that close, it's often not a choice really, it just happens - it's a force of nature kind of thing. For now I have very good friends online and in real life. People who are like family to me. But that special spot that only a best friend fits into is open as of yet.


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