Ya know, come to think about it... My health is failing now and I been doing everything I can to be "healthy". I have two hernias killing me, I can hardly walk some days (and other days it's fine), chronic pain all over my body. I'm a mess - so yeah... If I could afford it, I would be very tempted to just enjoy the shit out of life and drop dead in a room full of empty bottles and pizza boxes. Not to mention firing down a THC cookie before bed every night.

I've come to the conclusion that prolonging my life is prolonging the pain and nothing more. I know my friends love me and want me around and so on - but if it came to it and I had the ability - I think I would just go for the enjoyment of it all.

That being said, I would not be like my brother was and fire down a 40 every day while popping industrial pain meds. I'd keep it to 1/2 a 26 a day at most. But... there would be no end to the crap food I'd be eating. With millions in the bank I'd never cook again, I'd order in every day - 3 times a day.

I'm sure the over doing it would only last a week as well. I tire of the feeling of being over the limit after all. So most days it would be a moderate amount of whiskey - but it would be nice whiskey.

The food however would be not healthy at all, but instead things I really enjoy - like pizza and pasta. There would be a burger now and then as well (not fast food, a real burger) - even though it would give me a headache.

I don't really know why I would want to be 85 years old in a care home, suffering every moment of my life just to say I fought the good fight. What the actual hell is the point? Sure if I was 20 and had a long way to go - I'd try to keep healthy for some time. But the longer I live the worse it all gets. I'm literally falling apart.

So yeah, not a binge of booze and pizza till I die in 3 years, but I'd enjoy the hell out of the time I had left even though it would shorten my life a little.

So I'll be getting my monthly lotto tickets still and now and then when the prize is very big - getting a ticket in the middle of the month. I honestly do not expect to ever win - but I'll keep playing just in case.


  1. The world is not for old people, look at them with all their savings only to catch something horrible and have doctor's and caregivers clean them out. I don't get it like you said what is it all for.

    1. Exactly, I watched Mom die in a care home - it took a couple years. She faded away to nothing in the end. I rather just drop dead one day from a heart attack.


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