Weight Update

-13.3 lbs
404.0 lbs (183.3 kg)

This term: +5.0 lbs
All time: -94.0 lbs

5 Weeks Up
1 Week N.C.
5 Weeks Down

 

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Saskatchewan Assured Income for Disability (SAID) And Why I Almost Died Last Night

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Saskatchewan Assured Income for Disability (SAID) is the program that is supposed to be helping me as a disabled person to survive. Yesterday (Aug 29, 2024) I was supposed to get paid by them directly into my bank account. It never showed up and I have literally no idea on earth why this is happening to me. I emailed the minster of social services and asked them to get someone to call me and explain so I can fix this. This was at 3 AM give or take and  I got a reply that someone would phone me. Well, no one phoned me yesterday and right not it's 10:45 am and no call at all from them. I have no idea if I'm cut off and facing homelessness or I just need to give them some information they want to continue my benefits. Meanwhile, I have 21 cents in the bank and a maxed out credit card. I can't buy food to feed myself, and no one in the government gives a darn about this at all. We are faceless numbers to manipulate to them and nothing else. Don't fool yourself, the governme
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A Good Day For a Change (AKA Coffee Outing)

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The usual Thursday event yesterday, we went out on the north service road for coffee. It's a truck stop, but it's a big sized restaurant. I don't go out there any other day or time, so I don't have any idea if it has a time when there are a lot of people in it. But when we go, there is almost no one else in there. I have to say $3.85 for a Pop (Pepsi) is nuts, but coffee is the same price, and their coffee makes me ill - everyone else is fine with it, just not me. However the pop only gets one refill, not unlimited like the coffee does. I'll talk about the strange bill below. In any event, there was a new face at coffee when I got there. I'd met the fellow before, and he is nice to talk to. The one guy who has been going for years has not been there the last 2 times, and I'm totally OK with this. He was super aggressive, and very rude the last time he was there. We let him know this is NOT acceptable behavior at all. I think he needs a medication review if
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Two Quick Thoughts

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To me coffee is a great pleasure and I choose to spend the vast majority of my spending money on it. I really don't tend to have more than $20 extra a month to spend on things other than needs, but I mostly spend that money on nice coffee to drink. The manner in which I make the coffee uses kind of a lot of it, to make just one mug of coffee, but it is extremely pleasant to drink that mug of coffee. I have been told it is not helping with my Fibromyalgia pain, but I am willing to have slightly more pain in my life to enjoy a great cup of coffee. To be honest having coffee out, is disappointing compared to what my Moka pot produces for me. I may even keep drinking it if I was told it would shorten my life noticeably - to be honest, with no coffee in my life, I don't think I'd want to be here as much as I do now. It's been about 13 years since I lost my friend. At the time he was my best friend, and we knew each other for 38 years. We did a lot together. Went camping, pla
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10 Tough Questions Answered

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1. Why do people value the longevity of life as much as, if not more, than the quality? I know I don’t. I don’t want to live to be 110 and spend 35 years in a care home being not much more than a plate of salad. I also don’t want to be totally aware and still end up in a care home with no freedom at all. I’d rather be dead. I spent 18 months visiting my mother in a care home every single day for several hours and I saw so many things that made me think death is not the worst thing to happen it’s not funny. Frankly, I think I’ll be ready in about 10 more years to leave this world, I’m 57 and failing already. 2. Are people like me born to suffer? This is a hard question to say the least. I would love to think we all have options to change our lives, yet, I did literally everything I could to have a better life when I was younger and it still turned out to be rather a living hell of a life in my 50’s. I honestly think there is some force in the universe that holds some people down, and ma
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