2 NSFW JOKES

The Urinal
I was standing at a urinal earlier today and next to me was a midget also having a pee. I noticed he kept winking at me like crazy. 
I said "Are you gay? Do you fancy me or something?" 
He replied "No you're splashing in my fucking eyes!"
Dear teachers.
When the kids finally go back to school I'm going to need your help to ease them back into things. so if you could throw in the occasional "for fucks sake", "this makes no fucking sense", "do whatever you fucking want", and "Sit down and shut the fuck up", that would be great.


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