What Is Depression To Me?

First off, it's a soul sucking vortex that took years of my life, as it got worse and worse as I aged. I ended up in the hospital for this terrible affliction a couple of times. These people who say, "I get sad sometimes too," basically need to have their head scanned to see if they have a brain inside it. It's not SAD ALREADY!

I remember being sad as a child when I broke my favorite toy. I got the hell over that in a day. Depressed is the entire lack of ability to feel any pleasure and just feel mentally like you are being heled under water and can't fight your way back out. It can literally make you feel completely empty and this takes away your motivation for anything, including eating or washing up.

It's interesting because, when it first kicks in and you don't have it's full effect yet, you want to do things like eat until you are sick or drink a tone of beer to kill the feeling. When it's full effects come on, you are crushed by it. It's completely debilitating.

Now suicidal and depressed don't always go together at all. Most depressed people will never desire to end it all. In fact for some, not me personally, it becomes a warm blanket that cover themselves with and hide from reality. It can become something you don't want to end for these people.

But I'm talking about me, and for me it was a hell. I literally saw less color in the world, and music sounded flat as well. Food lost it's taste and I just wanted to stay in bed. I leaned to channel it into writing and I had notebooks like crazy, then I ended up filling many floppy discs with my writing. I am sad that I ended up loosing most of that data. I do with I still had it, and I'd certainly publish it.

And while I'm at it, depressed is not lazy at all. Lazy is you actively don't want to do anything. Depressed is it's very hard to do anything, if not impossible.

It's like a lot of things in this life - you can empathize, but if you never been there, you won't understand it fully. This is why talking to a councilor who never felt it's grip, can be a bit less than useful at times. At least it was for me. For a lot of people, they can help - I like many I know, had to do it myself, to be functional until the meds started to work. I praise the creator that I have meds that help me.

Comments

  1. Only been truly depressed once. Never want that feeling again. I take a med. for anxiety and I think it helps with depression. Glad your meds help with your depression. Stress is my main problem. Very stressed most of the time. Thanks for sharing this❤️😊

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    Replies
    1. I get a bit depressed now and think, but not for long and not badly. I'm glad for my neds.

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