STILL FALLING OFF THE WAGON

This photo kind of sums up the last 3 weeks and why I am up in the last 2 months more than I lost all year so far. In my defence, food is so freaking good.

I enjoy food. Despite what some people think food addiction is a real issue. People like me get a great deal of pleasure both physically and emotionally from the act of eating things we like to eat. Unlike other addictions, we can't just stop using the thing we are hooked on.

This being said, I'm about 118% sure that being addicted to meth is harder to get over than food addiction.

Not going to make excuses at all though. I did in the first year lose over 70lbs and then this year it all went wrong and yes it's all on me. I fell off the wagon. I've said it 100 times already, I need to get back on track, but it seems to be harder than I expected.

Oh well I'll never be skinny and I'll never be healthy as ever I was - so ya know. I just want to reduce the pain in my legs and back and hope to be mobile by food a little longer than I would have been otherwise.

If anyone thinks they will look great after dropping 300 lbs, they are kidding themselves. The massive amount of left over skin will fuck that up right away. Being that removal of the skin is not covered even here in Canada - there would be no way for a lot of people I know to have it removed.

Even if they had the skin removed, most of them will be left with stretch marks and other skin marks that where caused by being massively oversized. So to think I'm going to look great is not an option.

That being said people who are up to 100 lbs over sized and got that way over a long time, do have the ability to be good looking again - that is to say good looking to the standard of the media outlets telling us how we should look. They won't have the deformities of the skin and cosmetic repair will fix most of it with almost no visible scars. I've seen the results with my own eyes.

But for me there is no way I'm going to look great - I don't even want to be skinny, I just want to be more healthy.

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