OK I Went Outside Are You Happy Now?
Outside is over rated. It's freaking hot out there and there is no Netflix as I don't want to use up all my mobile data sitting on a park bench.
I know - I know... I'm supposed to be looking at the freaking ducks in the pond or something. But they don't actually do much - they just kind of float there and expect you to feed them and shit.
It's also kind of peopley out here. That won't do at all. If I want to communicate to someone it will be on freaken Facebook not actually talking to someone. Dang what is this the dark ages?
Look how bright it is in this photo... Look at it... How am I expected to read my text messages and see the Instagram photos? We can send people to freaken Mars but we can't make a smart phone I can read in direct sunlight.
I got it. I will come back to the park at 1 am when almost all the people are done and it's dark out so I can see my screen. This way I can say "I went outside" and I only have to deal with some random sleazy gay guy trying to hook up with me in the park. BTW what's up with that? Is there no apps for that? Anyway It's a better plan than the daytime...