Sad And Messy To OK And Clean

Seems I have a very strong desire to be in a clean environment. While I was still rather sick I ended up doing all the cleaning and it caused me to almost pass out a couple of times. Yet I kept doing it.

The best part is I used to be a very messy person back in the day when I was depressed and so on. Seems not long after they "fixed" my depression I ended up with the desire to keep it all clean.

I don't know why I just know as soon as I felt good about the world I then wanted it to be more ordered and structured.

This came at a price though, I used to be rather better at art and poetry in the day albeit dark and moody at the time. Now it's more structured and lest involved than it used to be.

It's a good trade off though because if I kept on that path I may not have been here right now. I was getting darker and darker.

The meds are only a part of it, as they make it more easy to get out of the cycle of thinking that kept me in the darkness (my old friend). Then with the ability to change your thinking the effort to improve your life comes into play. That in it's self is a task, but well worth the effort.


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