Sunday, January 28, 2018

Kaleidoscope Art

I Love Coffee

I love coffee and I think if the doctor told me to quit I'd tell him "guess I'm going to die".

I drink a pile of it though, as in a 12 cup pot ever single day at least, sometimes more.

In the last 25 years I have had at LEAST 125,000 cups of coffee. It kind of ads up when you do the math. I'm sure it's more though, as some times I had more than 12 cups.

I have also spent a vast amount of time in coffee shops over that time frame. Some of the best conversations of my entire life have been over coffee though.

My Mom used to drink 2 or 3 posts of it every single day for decades and never had any problems sleeping. I on the other hand have had sleep problems since I was 10, so it can't be the coffee LOL.

Dad never really drank that much of it in fact almost never drank coffee. I find that interesting being that most people he knew did drink a lot of it.

Most of my friends love coffee. In fact one of them have invested a lot of money into things to make coffee with over the years LOL. At least once in 3 days we will start talking about coffee on Facebook.

Coffee is a large part of my life it seems. If something happened and there was no more coffee I would literally cry.

I've met a lot of interesting and sometimes strange people because of going out for coffee over the years.

Not much more to say other than Coffee is life :)

Prevent Things From Going Missing Sigh

So this is in the laundry room and well, it's just a good idea to not just leave things around. The majority of people seem to toss things in the machine and go back to the apartment and leave it. I never do this.

Years ago I had some freak take literally ALL my socks from the dryer. After that I have always stayed be the machine until it was done. I am not going to trust people not to be taking my things.

That being said, it's a sad reality that this sign is needed at all. When I was young we could trust people not to take things, in fact it was very uncommon when I was a kid for people to steal stuff. Now if you look away for 10 seconds it's gone.

I don't know if anyone here has ever had it happen, but I'm not going to just trust people. There is WiFi in the basement, so I play on my phone and wait for the machines to finish. I also do a little walking at times - as I tend to do it late at night and no one else is there.

4 3D Fractals

Winter Has Changed This Last While

This was actually done up about 5 days ago and I'm just getting to posting it. We now have a light dusting of snow and it's freaking cold out there. That being said, not long ago we used to get a great deal of snow this time of year. For the last 3 or 4 years there has been very little snow and it's been warm most of the winter with cold patches (like today).

I have lived here (in Moose Jaw) most of my 51 years and I can tell you it's not been like this most of the time. I can literally only remember 1 winter with very little snow from when I was younger and only a couple of winters that where warm. I can't remember at all a January where it was above freezing, yet it has done that most of this January.

It's interesting I think. In fact one time about 20 years ago a friend and I almost got stuck at a truck stop in May because it snowed 2 1/2 feet of snow in the 3 hours we where out there. If it was not for a medical emergency would would have been toast and had to stay there over night. But being someone called 911 the snow plow went ahead of the ambulance and we followed the plow back in.

What I Eat Last Week And Planning For Shopping

 Well last week I managed to drop 6 lbs, despite ordering Pizza and having a couple of burgers. You see here a large thin crust with Pepperoni, bacon, jalapenos and banana peppers. The entire thing slathered in extra hot - hot sauce. There was also extra cheese. I exploded most of the next day.
This is home made veggie soup. I had this for 2 days, then went back to the beans and veggies. It was actually kind of good for one of those don't think about it and just toss things into the pot kind of deals.

I get paid on Tuesday (this is Sunday) and I am going back to the beans and veggies twice a day and chicken and veggies for dinner. It's not like I stick to this veggie diet thing after all, so lets just up and get some chicken.

I also want to get some hamburger (beef gives me a headache but I love that stuff so I eat it now and then) and make some super hot chili in the slow cooker. Also want to make lazy cabbage rolls as I have not done that since before Mom died (at least 6 years).

I won't be needing coffee LOL I had lots and lots of it when I went shopping last time and forget and picked up a 1kg can of it. So being I have not opened it yet, there will be enough for next month.

As for butt paper, I have kind of a lot of it - enough for next month, but it's on sale big time and I am going to get 1 or 2 30 packs of it because the sale price is just so dang good and then I will be set for a couple of months.

So my shopping list is (lots of) TP, 2 boxes of Chicken Breasts, 52 cans of pork and beans, 3 2K backs of veggies, some Ground Beef, a Cabbage and a couple of bottles of hot sauce. I already have spice for the chili. Should be less than $180 with the sales that are on right now so that is better than I normally pay. Oh yes, 2 cans of tomato juice and some rice. Almost forgot that. I just need to organize I ride in the next couple or 3 days before the sale is over.

Maybe I will make Goulash instead of cabbage rolls? So maybe pasta instead of rice. In any event that is all for now...

Looking At The Past 10 Years

In the past 10 years things have changed a lot. I became a member of Facebook - gained and lost friends and had tragedy and joy. Here is some of that.
 May 19, 2009 at 6:55pm I posted my first Facebook profile pic and this was it. So it's almost 9 years I been on FB it seems. There have been people come and go but a lot of very good people have stayed and I have become quite close to them. Social media can actually be very important to disabled people or the elderly who can't get out to socialize that often. It can in fact be a life saver in the literal sense of the term.
 First "Art Post" on Facebook not long after I started up.
This really is me in 2009 (summer) with a gimp mask on having some fun with a friend. Don't ask, you don't want to know LOL. It was near the end of that kind of thing in my life. Since then I have been a rather dull person and very much not interested in things of that manner at all now. Soon after this I sold off all my toys and became a quiet person who stayed home a lot.

Not long after this because of my physical state I was no longer able to walk much and was well kind of depressed so I eat junk food until I almost hot 500lbs in fact I topped out at 498lbs. That should have been a wake up call, but it was not. I only started to try hard to lose weight when the heart doctor said "you will die soon if we don't get this under control".

Thanks to medication (Entresto) and losing over 100lbs so far the heart funtion is greatly improved now and I am back to being able to walk around a lot more now.

Getting back to FB my first interaction was a woman from Texas who though I went to high school with her. Well I had no idea who she actually was and she was a friend of one of my YouTube friends who had added me in that time. Half of the people from back then are no longer on my list. But I have as I say made long term friends with many people and some are literally like family to me.

In any event, life has changed over the last decade some for the worst and some for the best. It's a mixed bag but I'm happy at least. I might not be the most healthy person on earth but I am more well off than most people on the planet and am deeply grateful for it.

As well in the span of a decade I watched my mother become sick with Cancer and die a slow lingering death and it changed me. I am no longer the happy go lucky person I used to be. But I still enjoy life and a good joke.

I also gave up my drivers license in the last 10 years and have not driven since. There is no point to having one for me really. It is actually way less money to get a cab when I need it than to own a car after all.

In this time span I also lost some long term friends. One died, several moved away and I lost contact with them and 2 turned sour on me (I have talked about them so I won't go into detail).

Life is different than it was but thankfully money wise I am slightly more well off and no longer in need of having to ask people to bring me food to eat like I did at the start of this 10 year span. The sad thing is there might be changed in the current government policy that put me back to the state of deep poverty once again. But that is another story.

In all I am a blessed person with friends who will help me when I need it and who will support me when I am down. I can't ask for more than this. I have to say if I won big in the lotto I would be giving some of that to my friends who have been there for me as they deserve it.

to sum it up, I never guessed how life would change in the past 10 years. It's been a hell of a ride with a lot of ups and downs. But in the end I am loved and I love a great deal of my close friends - there is not much more I could ever ask for.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Why I Don’t Think I Have Asperger’s

So, I was told some time back that I had some form of Autism most likely Asperger’s Syndrome. I have come to realize that I don’t think the nice health care professional know what the heck they were talking about. Now I do a few things that can be considered “stimming” and I used to at one time get very upset very easy, but that was when I was not medicated and I’m sure stemmed from a very different mental illness. I also no longer get manic as hell and stay up for 3 days doing what I would at the time think was “great art” only to realize when I came down “this sucks”.

Top 10 signs you have Asperger’s Syndrome

You have inflexible routines
Um NO – I do things at random generally as the mood sparks me.

You have trouble displaying emotion
Um NO – I display emotion better than most people in fact.

You have trouble figuring what is appropriate in social situations
I’ll give you this one, because I just up and start talking about bondage and blurting out swear words.

You lack empathy
Um NO – I am extremely empathetic to the point it’s kind of terrible. I feel all my friends pain and seeing the news will literally have me in tears for the pain I see others in.

You know way too much information about a single topic
Well, YES – And it’s about useless to know as well, so ya know.

You have trouble figuring out when to lie
Um NO – I know exactly when to lie and I’m not one of them delusional people who say “It’s best to never lie”.

You have trouble describing basic emotions
Well – I have no idea how to describe an emotion at all, but I don’t think most people can.

You care way too much about organizing stuff
I’ll also give you this one – Everything needs to be in it’s place, but I won’t get upset as hell if it’s not - I’ll just go put it away.

You have trouble understanding other people’s emotions
Not even close – I have a deep understanding of emotion and the ability to help people deal with them when needed.

You need other people to provide clear schedules and expectations
Not really – I would love it if people would actually stick to a time when they say 2PM and not show up at 3:30PM but I’m willing to go with it. Stuff happens but I am flexible.

Windows 10 RANT

So dang it all to heck it reset while I was typing yet again. Windows 10 is junk and ignores your settings. I set the time to tell it the PC is busy at this time frame and it ignores it. I went to the advanced tab and clicked the nicely hidden box that says "show more notifications" that is supposed to warn you it's going to rest. None of this helped at all. It just up and resets with no warning at all - BOINK rest time...

Then there is the matter of it CONSTANTLY restring my file associations. I will never in my life desire windows media or any other Micro$oft junk to play video or audio files - I have a much better tool for that. Ever last time the thing updates (ever 2nd or 3rd day) it sets them back to the crap media player. AHHHHH!

Then there is the start menu and them advertising apps I will never want to install. Yes, I know there is a setting to turn that off - but it keeps coming back after an update. This is so annoying - why the crap do you have a cloud to save our freaking setting in when you ignore the settings and change them to what ever the feck you want?

I swear to GOD if I was not stuck with Windows I would be using a Mac, but that is way too much money for me even used... Not to mention Mac does not run any of the software I use and I can't afford to spend thousands replacing it all with over priced Apple ready products.

I can't even begin to estimate how much lost time I have had because 15 minutes into editing something the PC just up and resets and the work is lost. Yes I know "save your work" - this won't help when you are rendering video and it resets and blows up the render. Sigh.

BTW since you fecking insist on setting the audio file settings back to your junk player, at least let me use my own music I have ripped from CD's I own. After all I used your CRAP program to rip them in the first place, yet they literally won't play in your media player - what the actual hell is that? They worked fine until I "upgraded" to Windows 10. Sigh...

Friday, January 19, 2018

Striped Backgrounds Set

Sometimes a Lie is to Spare People Pain

When my Dad died, I was driving him home from the hospital in Regina. He had an operation and was taken off blood thinners - this killed him. The fact is though, if they did not take him off he would have bled to death on the operating table - so it was a no win situation.

He did in the passenger seat beside me as I drove down the highway. I ended up driving over 90 mph to the hospital in town. There was no way he was doing to make it and even if we did stop and give CPR he would not have come back. It was his 3rd heart attack and he was just barley functioning before it, so it was the end no matter what.

The doctor that talked to us after the pronounced him dead told us "he did not suffer it was quick and painless". Now I saw it happen and this was not the reality. He suffered terrible pain for at least 10 seconds. The distorted look on his face showed me that he was suffering greatly.

Mom needed this to be the reality though and there was no way on earth I would have ever told her the truth. One day she asked, "do you think Dad suffered when he died". I said "No he just dropped dead and there was no pain".

On a different front often when I took Mom shopping she would take 30 to 45 minutes to shop and this would cause me to be in pain that I can't even describe to you. I on several occasions almost passed out from the pain and only by sure will power did I make it threw.

She never knew about it. I never once said "this really hurts so hurry up". I did not want her to feel bad for something she could not control. She was sick and could not hurry up and I knew this. So I hid the pain and suffered in silence.

Some would say "if you love them tell the truth". For the most part this is something that should happen, but now and then you should just shut up or lie outright. Sure if they ever find out they will be hurt double, but the majority of the time they don't find out and you save them mental anguish that could last for a very long time. Mom would never have been able to move past Dads death if she knew he suffered like that. She also would have ended up spending money to get someone else to take her shopping instead of me suffering - she did not have the money to spend.

So yes, sometimes we do need to lie.

Thursday, January 18, 2018


This is for Anxiety ridden people such as myself and many others I know. When it was very bad and I could not leave the house, I got all of these and more said to me. Pills work, but they made me feel like I was floating away and I hated it - I could not think on them. Now it's way better, but still a thing in my life. Cannabis oil (no THX) seems to have helped it kind of a lot and the amount to attacks are very much down and the extreme attacks don't really happen any more - just small ones. But trust me, no one with Anxiety can just snap out of it or just push threw it if it's bad enough, it will cripple them.

Likewise Basic 6-Outlet Wall Tap

The "Likewise Basic 6-Outlet Wall Tap" was $7.19 at Canadian Tire. Not all things I own could be plugged into this as they would overlap (plug too wide) but most things will fit side by side. Just be aware that larger plugs like the one on my coffee grinder will not fit beside another plug.

It is grounded and plugs into both sockets on the wall. Some I have seen only have the one plug into the wall and it's not as solid as this.

That being said, it does wiggle a bit when you plug things into it or unplug them. I got it so I would not have to unplug my 3 main items in the kitchen. Just the coffee grinder gets unplugged after for safety.

They had the old style Noma ones that fit firmly over of plug face against the wall and if you want something more solid you will be paying twice as much to get it. The lower priced Noma Taps are the same as this, they just have more room between plugs - and are only $1.50 more than this.

I don't really need the extra room to plug things in so I saved the small amount of money. I'm just kind of wondering what years of rocking when I plug and unplug will to to the wall socket.

I have the coffee maker, slow cooker and microwave on this Tap. I will at no time be running all 3 at once so it should be safe enough. The unplugging the microwave all the time then setting the clock on it once again was what made me get this BTW.

All in all it's good enough for the price. As I say, if you want one that does not rock expect to pay $18 or more for it and they might be hard to find - there where none of them in the store - and online they wanted from $27 to $32 for them on Amazon.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Bean Around the World - Rainforest Organic Dark Roast Coffee

I have to say this is one of the top 10 best coffee's I've had in my life. It is very full bodied and rich. The dark taste is almost to the point of extreme and is very good. The smoky overtones of this coffee are very pleasant as well and ads greatly to the taste. Slightly acidic and not too bitter for a dark roast. It's a classic French roast coffee to perfection.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Sleep Deprived and CFS at the Same Time

So I've had way too much coffee today and I'm never going to sleep tonight. Well, OK, I don't sleep most nights even if I don't have any coffee that day, it ends up the same as if I had lots of it.

Been doing a lot of late night music listening with the headphones on. It's been a problem on and off for the vast majority of my life, so I don't think it's going to stop happening any time soon.

It all started when I was 10 (literally) and never ended. If I get a solid sleep, it's because I was so tired my body just went into a mini-coma. I will spend up to 10 days in a row with little to no sleep and this last couple of days are worse than normal.

To top it off my body is cramping up all over and as soon as I lay down in bed my legs and back and arms start acting up. Speaking of back there is a new kind of pain that feels like a tummy ache but is in the back not the front. I got not one clue what it is.

But anyway, every single time I been in the hospital they have insisted I take a sleeping pill. You would think it's in my record by now NOT to do this to me. I have had a doctor that tired over the years to reset the sleeping pattern threw drugs - well this never worked.

Most of the time I would end up more awake than I was before I took the sleeping pill. There was only one time that it worked and I was out for 12 hours and missed 8 phone calls from my Mom - the phone being right beside my bed at the time. Well I did not like that and I flushed the rest of the pills. I mean if something where to happen I would not have woken up the the sound of a fire alarm for Gods sake.

The rest of the pills I have tired either did nothing at all or just woke me up even more. This is better than what the one did to my Dad, they made him see snakes coming out of the air vent and freaked him out bad. I had a run-in with the nurse over that as they just kept giving them to him. At least after yelling at someone they gave him a different pill.

You can see in my vlogs as the days of little to no sleep stack up, I get less and less energy in the vlog (not like I ever have much) and start to have difficulty speaking at times.

So in the end it's going to be a toss up between dropping dead early in life and going to some care home early as my brain will be fried from lack of sleep and I won't be able to do things like NOT set the stove on fire.

To top it off I have 2 kinds of tired, the lack of sleep kind and the body don't want to work CFS kind. Some one mentioned "mediation" one time LOL - As if. You actually have to be able to process better than I can right now to be able to get into the right frame of mind. Strange thing is I post the majority of my blogs when I'm dead tired and have come up with some cool art or poetry that the next day I think "I don't remember doing that".

Well I'm going to lay down for a bit as my body is getting to the point it does NOT want to stay sitting in a chair and if I push it another 15 or 20 min. I will end up passing out - I've done this before and know the exact limit I can push it now.

Ha one time I did it in a video chat and someone in the chat knew my address. I woke up with a sore shoulder and a paramedic looking down at me asking if I could hear him - so off I go to lay down a bit.

Dinner Was

Bed of white rice, some beef and tomato and some ginger beef for dinner yesterday, today it was liver bacon and onions. Sine I fell off the wagon with the candy I thought, why not.

Easy Mode on My Phone

New feature on my Samsung Galaxy S7 "Easy Mode". Just hit Easy and it does it all for you, you don't have to even point the camera. LOL

Random Stuff

 I am the world famous AxeMoose, known be tens of people - Worship at my alter of vlogging and blogging HAHA.
 This is the old internet trend so this graffiti is dated - the new thing is eating a Tied Pod.
 Sometimes I am in too much of a hurry and forget to take the bar out of the wrapper. (Suspiration)...
 I think I'm one of 7 old metal heads that did not like Slayer all that well, but they where OK I guess. Who am I kidding the BLEEPING ROCKED.
 And 3 documentaries about music.
 I hate it when speed bumps are mad at the world.
This was in the laundry room - left it there.

What's New In The Apartment

 Got a new night stand and put it together today. I like it but the top is less deep than the old one, still at least the drawer is not coming apart like the old one was.
 This is the old night stand and the new one on the other side. The drawer is broken so there is nothing in it and I have it sort of fixed to not fall apart, but it can't be used as a drawer no more. But it holds Pusheenicorn and Kleenex, so it's of use.
 This little chair was where the old night stand used to be since I moved in and I had the Kleenex and both Pusheenicorns on it - now it's in the living room. I need to vacuum it and my easy chair.
 Put my multi charger on the floor by the chair - I might see if I can get something to put under it just in case it fails, so it won't melt the carpet or something. Not worried about it really, but you never know. I had to put a longer cord on to use the phone while charging though.
 So the fridge has a plastic top on it, so I can't put the microwave on it. This left it in a corner of the counter and I had no place to plug in everything at once. The solution was a plug tap. It gives me enough plugins now. I will never be in a situation where all 3 are on at the same time, so it will be fine.