Although I got this cup not more than 5 years ago, it's a remanent from the person I used to be. I once DID enjoy a good spanking and a good tie up. Now I have enough pain in my freaking life to deal with every singe day, so I don't want extra.

Then again my desire to have sex has all but vanished. I would much rather do it myself than bother with another person these days. Time was even into my 40's where I was VERY into it. That being said, not even doing it myself is not that often.

I don't know what changed over the last decade, but I just don't care about that stuff any more. My one vice left over if food. Yes I drink on a rare occasion, but food is my deal now. I would love to be able to eat pizza every day of my life. The thing is, now that I don't eat crap every day - the quality of my life is up a lot.

I'm not under any delusion that I all the sudden will have 10 or 20 years added on to my life, but the pain levels are down and I can walk a hell of a lot farther now.

As for the change in desire, maybe it's spiritual. The last decade of my life, I have looked to what I know as God a lot more than in the past. Hell I think I am closer to my concept of God than when I was a full on fundamentalist Christian. I'm about 60% sure this has something to do with my lack of wanting to "have fun" that way.

In any event, enjoy your day or night and keep smiling.


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