Friday, August 11, 2017

Food Addiction, The Struggle Is Real

Half my brain wants to eat healthy and the other half wants to pig out on stuff like this doughnut burger until I'm sick. It's a big struggle that people who have not battled with food addiction can't understand at all.

All them skinny folks have the same thing to say, "just don't eat it". If it was that simple it would be easy as hell and anyone could do it. The thing is your brain craves it non stop, as in every waking moment. The difference between other addictions and a food addiction is, you can't stop eating altogether.

Some days for people like my you end up just sitting there thinking of the bad foods to the point you can taste it. The struggle to keep ones mind off of it is a great one. Every time I need to eat the low calorie stuff I eat I think "I wish this was a double cheese burger and fries".

So how do you fight that? Sure you can fight it, but the urge will always be there - just like any addiction. With smoking of booze you can stop it and never need to touch it again. Food on the other hand you need to eat every day of your life.

By the time people like me stop justifying to ourselves and come to our senses it's often way too far down the line to the point we have damaged out body. In my case I ended up at the worst of it at 498 lbs and unable to walk very far at all. Then came the heart problems that where GOING to kill me soon if I did not change my ways.

So I dropped a bunch of weight and ended up on medication to help keep me alive. Still in the past few months it's back to being a big issue in my life. I have been up and down kind of often. Mostly down thank God - but I'm struggling.

The thing is for the rest of my life I will struggle with it. There will not be a day when I just don't want to eat a pizza or a pile of junk food and wash it down with 2L of Coke.

I admire the people who have just up and changed their lives and never had any struggle - they are a rear bread though. Most of us never stop wanting it even after we realize it might kill us.

But upward and onward we must go... Peace and keep strong.

2 comments:

  1. Okay I guess I am lucky there have always been a limit to how much I can eat in one sitting, my wife can put it away like nobodys business, I just cant if I eat 2 cheeseburger or 3 slices of pizza I am in pain, well not actually pain but as in eat too much.

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    1. I always wonder how you got as big as you did. I'd be skinny if I had those limits lol. Honest to God mom eat twice what I did and never was fat.

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