Fibromyalgia Is Hell But I Still Love Life

Freaking Fibromyalgia. So 3rd week of slowly more pain than the day before. Saturday it will be week 4 starting.

Normally I get hit for 2 or 3 days then it goes away for a week or so. Not this time.

Trust me though, I have been in a LOT more pain than this. But after a few days your brain just want it to go away.

Sure you can ignore pain and I'm doing it right now to post the blog posts. I'm also good at hiding the pain so now it's my natural state. I got that way because I did not want my Mom to know how much pain I was in when helping her do things.

I used to think "suck it up" when someone talked about something hurting that I know was 1/10 of me pain at best. But the reality is, to them it's a lot and pain hurts no matter who you are or how much it is. Now I just think "I hope they never no the pain I know".

As well when the doctor says "rate it from 1 to 10" I always thing "how stupid is that". You can't quantify it on a universal scale. To me someone else's 10 might be a 2. To someone else my 10 might be a 2. So how does this 1 to 10 thing work?

Now lets talk pain meds. I've had it all and nothing works for the Fibro pain. Sure I blew out tendons in both knees one day - that freking hurt but to me it was a 6 and the pain meds worked fine on that. I've had fibro pain of a 3 and NOT had the same meds do anything at all. So obviously the pain is not the same.

I have to say losing 130 lbs over the last 3 years seems to have helped a bit but not a lot. I have one of them doctors that thinks Fibro does not exist and the pain is from being fat. LOL - try again. If that was true then the pain should be dramatically reduced by now and it's not. This may be why I only tend to see him when I need med refills.

Distraction is our friend though. If you can keep your mind busy with ANYTHING it will help the pain. I mean even turning on the TV and just watching a show helps a bit. For me the strangest thing helps. I lay in bed and hold a small stuffed toy (Pusheen). This helps reduce the pain for me when it's bad. We adapt and we learn things that help and sometimes it's strange things like a scented candle or Pusheen.

The best part of all is when I was about 22 I was talking to a friend who had a mother in Chronic Pain. I said, "I am not doing that, if I end up in chronic pain I'm killing myself". Well here I am 17 years after and being in pain every single moment of that time... Or is it 18 years now. I've lost track now.

It's strange as most people would remember when this hell started but it's gone from my memory. See I only remember things my brain tells me is important and for me that is not the same as normal folks... LOL.

Anyways, I have to reply to a text and go lay down for a bit - my neck and back are not doing well sitting in this chair... Hugs all and keep smiling - they know you don't want a pillow over your face if you smile...

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